Would You Be Sad?

This weekend we had a pretty intense conversation with the Red's regarding death.  There was a reason.........plus the fact they have had questions of their own.  What spurred it on was playing baseball.  They were throwing the ball up in the air and hitting the ball, which is great, but they weren't paying attention to their surroundings!

 A few years back there was an accident up at our local ball field involving a bat that was swung and hit a kid in the chest resulting in that child dying.  So we sat the Red's down and talked about "bat safety" and I told them the story above.  Not to scare them but to make them aware that bats are not toys and they can hurt someone.  (Sorry if you don't agree with my method, but I'd rather not live through what the other parents lived through).

They seemed to get the point and were more cautious the rest of the afternoon. 
The next day Jesse was driving the Red's somewhere and here's the conversation that took place:

Eli:  "Andrew, would you be so sad if I died?"
Andrew....not looking up from his DS answers: "No, I'd just play with your toys"
Eli not missing a beat replies: "Well if you died I'd just play with YOUR toys"

UM.....I think they missed the point!

On a complete seperate note.....The Sarge is MOVING!!!!  The Sarge of 4 will soon be moving to a new site!  When everything is up and running I will make sure to let everyone know the new web address!  As always, Thanks for reading!
The Sarge

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Well the Red's have now had their first official fight!  *Sigh*  We knew this day would come and I thought I'd be prepared for it, but I wasn't.  How could I ever be prepared to sit back and watch two of my darling children, who I love so dearly, beat the living snot out of each other?

Here's the low down:
The bickering began early in the evening over trivial stuff.  Then the name calling began, which turned into some hurt feelings.  With the hurt feelings came anger and with the anger...well punches started flying and legs kicking like ninjas and then I see my sweet little Eli on the ground Christmas Story style with Andrew straddled over him.  Andrew was sitting on Eli and throwing punch after punch after punch.  Finally Eli was able to maneuver Andrew off and the fight ended with Eli getting his tail handed to him. 

I sat them both down and we had a LONG talk about how to respect each other, how to deal with our hurt feelings and how to manage our anger.  I then explained how much it hurt Mommy and Jesus to see them fight with their words and fist.
Since I was totally ill-prepared for this event (and left to man the fight myself) I thought I'd make a few purchases for future events.  See what you think:
First I will need a uniform, just so there is no mistaking who's in charge!

and Sissy Lou will need one as well.....because she is the boss!

Let's not forget my whistle for when my voice is not heard:

and if that doesn't work:

Then I will have Jesse build a ring in the basement...just to keep them contained:

Finally, I will need this:

Not for their eyes....to eat....breaking up fights makes me hungry.....and I'm an emotional eater ; )

My Mii

While driving to church the other day Andrew informs me that he and Eli have made a Mii for Mommy.  I have to say curiousity got the best of me so I asked: "oh really, what does it look like?"
Andrew replied: "Eli made you fat"
Shocked Mommy: "What? FAT?"
Andrew: "but it's okay Mom, we gave you great hair"

Thanks boys....that makes it all better....great hair!  Nothing like a 5 and 6 year old to boost your self esteem!

Sorry about the quaility of the picture.....taking a picture of the tv screen!

Don't forget to enter into the GIVEAWAY!!!
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The Demolition of DVD Players....

Over the past four years we have gone through three television's that have the DVD player inside them for the Red's.  You might be asking yourself why would we keep purchasing these TVs for the Red's if they keep breaking them and the answer is simple....I HAVE NO CLUE.....call it a few mini strokes (a friend of mine said that phrase this weekend and I fell in love with it....so it's my new phrase....anytime I screw up it's because of those dogged "mini strokes")!

Any who.....These TV/DVD combos are the cheapest ones they sell at Walmart.  I did have enough smarts about me to realize that the Red's did not need anything extravagant. However, for Christmas this year we decided to get them a flat screen DVD combo because they had them priced so low....

again, you might be asking yourself why...and again..."mini stroke". 

So I thought I would indulge you all on the stories of how they wrecked the past two TV/DVD players. 

The first TV/DVD combo is a mere mystery to me...I have no clue how they did what they did.....
Somehow they managed to insert a cup full of sand (I have no clue where the sand came from) into the DVD player...after taking the whole thing apart, Jesse and I realized there was no hope for the DVD player and it became just a TV...with sand. 
I would love to take a tour through their brains sometimes and understand the decisions they make and how sand in a DVD player made sense to them.
The next unit we bought on a whim on a hunting trip because we had nothing to entertain the kids with in the cabin and it was so cold outside we couldn't play!  We had made a trip to Illinois for Jesse to do the "big horn" hunting and after arriving and spending one day couped up in the house with the kids we decided it would be best to do something.......or I could have rocked myself in the fetal position while sitting in the corner...kidding!
So that's how we came about the second unit...how they killed that one is a total different story. 
When I make Spaghetti I also make garlic cheese biscuits with melted butter and garlic poured over the top (no need to post this recipe...it's on the back of the Bisquick box)!  There are usually tons of biscuits made and a few extra left for later. 
Eli, being the little sneaky boy that he is, snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a few garlic cheese biscuits for himself.  He then ran down the hall and into the room where the TV was.  At this point I'm not sure what crossed his mind (maybe he had a "mini stroke") but that boy of mine decided it would be a great idea to take that garlic cheese biscuit and insert it into the DVD player.....yeah, we never got that out.....

We have a growing graveyard of TV/DVD combo units in our storage room!
Jesse and I made the vow that we would NEVER get them another TV/DVD player!!!! Until this Christmas.....when again "mini stroke" and we bought one. 
I am happy to report that from the 17 days since Christmas the TV/DVD player has gone unharmed....but we were gone 9 of those days.  I think that if they break this one Jesse might just have a FULL BLOWN STROKE!

All The Single Ladies.....

All three of my kids are in LOVE with Alvin and the Chipmunks movies.  In the second movie "the squeakquel", the Chipettes are introduced and sing the song "Single Ladies".  For weeks now Sissy Lou has been walking around the house singing "Oh, oh, oh, oh , oh, oh", and the Red's will chime in with the chorus...or at least what they thought was the chorus.
Last night at the dinner table while eating, Eli busted out into song and sings one of the lines in the song that says "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it".  But instead of saying those words this is what he sang:
"If you like it then you should have been a green boy".....
When he said this I spit my mouth full of sweet potatoes out across the table and died laughing.  With tears creasing my eyelids I squeak out the question "What did you say?".
Eli, not being too happy about the fact that I was laughing at him says "If you like it then you should have been a green boy?"
Then Andrew chimes in, "No NoEli, that's not right...it's..."if you like it then you should be a rain forest".....

HA.....we didn't correct them...because what's the fun in that?

Gumballs!

For Christmas Santa decided to bring The Red's a gumball machine filled with...gumballs.  Why you might ask would Santa do something so crazy?  I'm mean come on, with eyes wide open it's a bad idea! Doesn't he know how nuts the Red's are?  Doesn't he know that gumballs cause cavity bugs?  Doesn't he know that the Red's would eat the gumballs without ceasing? DOESN'T HE KNOW???

I'm assuming that "He" got caught up in the Christmas spirit and put away all that knowledge and decided to get the Red's something "He" knew they would love....and love they did!

First thing Christmas morning after seeing all the prizes left they wanted a gumball..then another...and another...then Sissy Lou saw what was happening and got a taste of that little bally heaven and wanted one...and another...and another...until I finally told Jesse to stop (of course it was him....because he just can't stand to say no just like those grandparents).

So being the mean mom that I am I took the gumball machine away and put it up in the laundry room so I could manage the intake of gumball consumption.  Unfortunately, I forgot who I was dealing with...the Red's can break into and climb on anything to get what they desire...and they desired more gumballs.  It's like crack for kids!

They went into the laundry room while I was busy with "Christmas" and climbed on top of the shelf to get their crack candy.  They stole uncountable gumballs out of the machine and hid them like little chipmunk hoarders. 

I have to say that the Red's are getting pretty darn sneaky or my red radar is broken.....because they stole and stashed them before I even knew what hit me. 

After we returned from our trip after Christmas I got busy putting things away (or as Jesse calls it "Nesting") and as I was doing so I opened the drawers that are part of their bunk beds......that they have decided to christen with their names.

In these drawers they keep some of their most cherished favorite toys that they don't want down in the play room.  I wanted to put some of their new toys away for them and get things organized. However, when I opened these drawers I was greeted with the sight of GUMBALLS! 

Again being the mean mommy I cleaned them out.....and with my red radar working once again I put the evil crack spitting gumball machine on the tippy top shelf that I knew there was no way they could reach!
This morning I began stripping all the beds around the house (and before you think we are gross and haven't changed the sheets since Christmas...don't worry....we were gone until New Year's Day and the sheets were changed before we left...just didn't want you all to think we were filthy and sleeping with bed bugs..Whew, glad I got that off my chest).  
To put new sheet on the bunk beds requires me to pull the bottom bed out...it's on wheels to make my job easy.  Anyways, as I was putting the bottom sheet on the bed my eyes wondered over to a small opening behind the bed...sometimes toys get stuck there and I have to rescue them.  My eyes caught a glimpse of what looked to be...GUMBALLS!!!!  NO WAY!!!  My sneaky, brilliant Red's had stuffed the backside of their bed full of GUMBALLS!  Guess they knew I would steal their stash in their drawers so they stuffed them elsewhere.

As you can imagine I have spent the morning investigating the house, looking in every little nook and cranny in their room for the crack balls!
So far I haven't found anymore.....but like I said the Red's are getting really good at being sneaky little boogers!  I will NOT rest until I have searched everywhere...THE SARGE will NOT be out smarted again....until next week at least!

Bath Tub and Baby Oil......

Somehow every time we are around the Grandparents my kids take every rule they've ever learned and throw it out the window!  It's total CHAOS!!!  The Grandparents are no help because they seem to loose their vocabulary and the only word that they can utter is YES!  To say NO would be sacrilege!

The Red's received a present from the "Grandparents" that required an object being submerged in water.  From there you can guess how they decided to submerge said object......bath tub!  So into the huge whirlpool tub they went.  Grandma went in and filled the tub up with just a little bit of water so they could take their bath and "submerge" their gift.  After the gift is under water it is suppose to turn into a toy....go figure.  Anyways,  Grandma leaves them to play and after hearing some crazy sounds decided to send Grandman in to check on those crazy Red's!

When he entered the bathroom he was immediately drenched in a wall of water that covered him from head to toe.  Upon further inspection he saw that the Red's had filled the garden  whirlpool tub to the brim with water and dumped out an ENTIRE bottle of BABY OIL!  OH MY WORD!!!!! 

He then observed them using the ledge of the tub as a diving board and doing canon balls into the tub of water mixed with baby oil.  Which would cause the waves of water that were six feet high to flood the entire bathroom. 

But instead of scolding the Red's and pulling them from the tub....the "Grandman" (who cannot say no) just lowers the water level and let them continue their craziness!  At the end of the night we ended up using eight towels and pulling in the mop for reinforcement. 

I mean come on, it was bad enough that we had to clean up all the water...but BABY OIL.....WHY OH WHY BABY OIL......and where did the baby oil come from?????

I really wish the Grandparents would learn the word NO......it sure would help with the reprogramming when we all part ways!

Seriously.....I think my kids have lost their minds....no worries....I will help them find them....and quickly!

We Paid the Price!

I have always consider myself somewhat of an intelligent person.  I mean.....I am usually pretty good at thinking things through, weighing the pros and cons and knowing what to avoid.  That is until last week when I decided to blog about our tradition in picking out our pumpkins.  At the end of the blog I wrote a small sentence and it was: "Can any of you tell that my kids haven't done anything lately to write about....or is this what you call writer's block????". 
What a stupid thing to say......it was like I was begging for my kids to do something.  I know better than to question the quietness around the house.  I should have embraced the fact that I had nothing terrible to write about.  But instead I dared fate to take it's course....I willed The Red's to invade....I....I asked for it.

Two things...two things that I did terribly wrong:
1.  I said out loud that my kids had not gotten into anything so I had nothing to write about.
2.  We had a yard sale.

Jesse and I were so busy getting things ready for the yard sale and then again doing the actual yard sale that we neglected our instinct on the Red's.  Sissy Lou was covered...she never left my side, but the Red's...well they are 6 & 5 and kept running in and out of the house like wild Indiana's that had consumed too much fire water.  The sum of the statements above is this...WE PAID THE PRICE!

The yard sale had ended and I was busy getting the left overs boxed up and ready to go to Goodwill.  The things I decided to keep I took downstairs to our storage room.  On my way back upstairs I noticed a few things that were out of place. 
They were: a hammer and a screw driver lying on the floor with a very large screw. 
Then my eyes glanced up to a few holes that had been placed into our walls.  The Red's had been busy alright....they had been trying to hand their basketball goal themselves right into the wall using Jesse's hammer, screw driver and a few screws.  They were not successful though and this is what was left in the aftermath:

The culprit for this stunt:

As I was busy examining the new wholes in our walls I glanced up to find this:

This is one of Jesse's beloved pictures.....BROKEN....
The culprit for this stunt:

He's not happy because I just told him I was going to have to talk to his daddy about this!
He said he was playing baseball in the basement and the bat just flew out of his hand......
this is said bat:

 We have now moved past the little boys messes into BIG boy messes.....I am NOT ready for the big boy messes yet, and I don't think my house will survive them either.  Time to stock up on some spackle 
 I will never, never, NEVER, complain about not having anything to write about ever again!

Rest Stop!

So on our trip down to Alabama the other day we made a pit stop at the 1st Alabama rest area.  This is our normal stop.  Every time we make a trip we try and stop here and let the dogs and kids out to stretch their legs. 
The Red's were in the back screaming they HAD to pee so I figured it was time to stop.  My dad was driving us down since my ankle was jacked up still so he pulled the car into the rest stop. 
We pulled over to the dog walk part and I got out and put Gus's leash on him.  Before I knew what was happening, the Red's had jumped out of the car and bee lined over to the picnic table right in the middle of the park.  As I glanced up I suddenly realized what they were doing....PEEING ON THE TOP OF THE PICNIC TABLE!!!!!!!!!
I froze...I didn't know what to do!  Do I scream at them and draw attention, or do I just let them finish?  I decided to scream....but it didn't help, they just kept right on peeing.  I hobbled over as fast as I could, but when I reached them they were done.  So I made the hasty decision to leave...quickly! 
I couldn't tell if my dad was as mortified as I was or red from laughing so hard......

101 Puppies...OH MY!

Jesse called this morning right after he dropped the Red's off at school.  He was belly laughing and couldn't wait to tell me the conversation the Red's had in the car.  I will try my best to relay the story.
Somehow the conversation started about dogs and how many dogs people have:

Andrew: "We only have two dogs"
Jesse: "do you guys want to have more dogs?"
The Red's "YEA"
Jesse: "Well maybe Belle will have puppies one day"
Andrew: "Yea, I want Belle to have puppies"
Eli: "Me too"
Andrew: "Then they'll be hundreds of puppies all over the house"
Eli: "Yea, and they'll fill the house all the way up"
Andrew: "and then the little dogs (puppies) will become big dogs and then they will POOP out babies too.

NICE!

Heaven....again!

Back in February I told you guys of a conversation I had with the Red's about heaven.  I don't know why I am always the one who gets stuck with the heaven conversations, but somehow they seek me out.
Last night I was reading the Red's a Bible story. It was the parable Jesus told about the fisherman's net (Matthew 13:47-49).  It says that the fisherman fished where there were many types of fish and then they kept the good fish and tossed out the bad fish.  It goes on to say that the fisherman's net is like God's kingdom, everyone wants to be part of His kingdom but the angels will come and separate the godly people from the ungodly people. 
As soon as I read that last part Andrew perks  up ready to fire questions away, and I felt a knot in my stomach.  Jesse is so much better at handling the Red's crazy questions than I am.  I get a blank stare on my face and search deep for the "right" answers to tell them. 
So Andrew says "what's ungodly people?"
I tried to explain the best I could by saying "well, it's those who have not asked Jesus into their hearts to live forever, and those who choose not to live like Jesus everyday".
Eli says "yeah, like hitting people"
Andrew: "or bullying"
Me:  "okay, sure"
I continued reading the story, but I soon realized that our conversation would continue after I read these words: "The godly people will live in heaven with me forever".
Then I knew where their little minds were headed and I knew where the questions would aim and sure enough I was right.
Andrew: "I want to go to heaven tomorrow"
Eli starts to tear up and says with a wail "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN".....and the tears started flowing.
I tried my best to console him and reassure him that heaven is the best of the best.  It is more beautiful than we could ever imagine.
Andrew chimes in with: "yeah Eli, it will have all kinds of toy stores and you don't have to pay any money and you can get whatever you want....right mom?"
Me:  "well........it is more awesome than we can ever think"
Andrew:  "and all my girlfriends will be there"
This is where I start stumbling around
Me:  "um...sure"
Eli:  "but it won't have food and drink"
Me:  "Eli, you won't need food and drink there"
Eli:  "but I will get hungry and thirsty"
I begin looking for my exit because I see there is NO END IN SIGHT!!!!
Eli:  "what about my teacher, will she be there"
Eli:  "what about my girlfriend Macy"
Eli:  "what about Gus and Belle"
Eli:  "what about our house"
I wanted so badly just to say yes to all these questions and tell them not to worry.  That it would be a long time before we got to go to heaven, but I knew better.  We are not promised tomorrow. 
I can't say that Eli was just as fired up as Andrew, but he did calm down.
After a few more questions I told them it was time to pray (and boy, did I need to pray at this point)!  It still amazes me how fired up Andrew gets about heaven at such a young age.  At the same time my heart ached with the thought of ever loosing him (or any of them).  I had to retire myself to prayer and remind myself that even though I love these kids more than I can stand that God loves them even more and they are His first!
I found it a bit strange that Andrew (a 6 year old) would teach me a lesson.  We should ALL be just as excited about heaven as he is.  Isn't that what it's all about!

The Reds Strike Again!

Many of you have read about the debacle concerning our TV.  For those of you who have no clue on what I'm referring to here is  a brief recap:
Our TV for the basement that we bought last October just quit working one day.  We called the company and after being yanked around for a month they finally shipped a new one out to us.  It took another two weeks for the thing to be delivered, for a grand total of 6 weeks of no TV for the "man cave" (and that is all inclusive of Jesse and The Red's).  So we now have had the TV back for around two weeks and this is where my story begins:
Jesse is very protective of "his" TV.  He babies the thing, dust it, and wipes the screen off carefully.  I have also found him down stairs a couple of times with his arms wrapped around it whispering sweet nothings into the speaker =]

The other day I was gone and the Red's were in the basement playing.  It was late when I returned so Jesse had just put the Red's to bed.  When I walked in, Jesse decided to head downstairs to  his "man cave" and watch some hunting shows.  He was only gone a minute when he returned upstairs holding this in his hands:

Yes, a bottle of carpet spot remover.  He had taken it downstairs a few nights before because Belle The Wonder Dog had thrown up on the carpet. So instead of bringing it up when he was finished he sat it on a shelf beside the TV.  I can tell you from experience that you never, NEVER leave anything lying around in arms reach or climbing reach of The Red's.  Jesse however had forgotten this small detail.

He had this disturbed look on his face and so I asked what was wrong.  He says to me through gritted teeth "YOUR boys sprayed this on MY TV".  Now wait just a minute solider boy....back up.....who's boys and who's TV?  Now who left the spot remover spray downstairs next to the TV?  Oh that's right, JESSE!  So how did it become my fault?  I just let him be, because I knew he was upset.  I asked how bad and if the TV still worked and he replied "I don't know".  So he headed downstairs to clean up the TV and make sure it isn't ruined. 

I in the mean time head to the Red's room to find out what happened.  As I popped my head in I can hear them carrying on a conversation between themselves.  Apparently they overheard Jesse and I talking.  So I interrupt and say "boys, did you guys spray the TV with that carpet spray?".  Andrew answers "yes, but we were trying to get the magic school bus to appear, and it didn't, so I guess that wasn't the magic school bus spray".  WHAT?????????  I didn't even try to engage that conversation because I was too lost!

By the way, the TV was fine.......and Jesse's face color returned to normal.....and the spot remover, well it got thrown in the garbage.

Punching????

I want to tell this story, but I want to say first that this was just a JOKE! The Red's were not serious, they were just being funny little boys. Please do not look down upon us as bad parents (or bad mother for sharing).



Here lately The Red's have been all about punching.  I'm not talking about for real mad punching, I'm talking about the playful wrestling punches.  They run around punching their Dad, punching Grandman, and of course punching each other.......again let me say, "all in a playful manor".  I have no idea what sparked this interest, but they think it's the funniest thing ever.
The other night we were getting the boys into bed and getting ready to say our prayers.  As always Jesse opens the floor to the Red's and offers them a chance to say what they want to pray for.  Sometimes we get some really crazy answers from these silly guys and this time had to be the strangest answer yet.  Here's how the conversation went down:
 
Jesse: "boys, what would you like to pray for tonight?"
Andrew: "I want to pray that I can punch Jesus"  (please keep in mind he is 6 and being SILLY)
 
Jesse got a shocked look on his face but before he could answer Eli chimed in.
 
Eli: "I want to pray to punch Jesus too"
 
They both giggled and squirmed around thinking how silly they were
 
Jesse:  "Andrew, that has to be the meanest thing I've ever heard you say"
 
The reality of what they said kicked in and Andrew starts doing back strokes
 
Andrew: "UM, I think that I want to pray that Jesus forgets that I ever said that"
Eli:  "Yea, me too"
 
Good choice boys!!!!  But just for extra measure we read them the story of Sodom and Gomorrah......  ; )  I'm kidding! 

Happy 5th Birthday Eli!

Five years ago today we welcomed Elijah Lon Richardson into this world at a whopping 5 lbs 3oz and things have never been the same since! 
My pregnancy with Eli was the hardest pregnancy out of the three kids.  Early on I started having bleeding and contractions.  When I went to get this checked out we learned that Eli was in fact a twin!  The twin did not survive and we lost the baby early on, but Eli thrived!  Can you imagine two of Eli running around...wow...that's a thought!
At that same time they also noticed that I had a Septate Uterus which means that my uterus has a septum in it that makes it two uterus.  (My goal in this blog is to see how many times I can type uterus).  This means that my babies only have half the room to grow and explained why Andrew was born so early.  Also explained my miscarriage of Eli's twin.  Anyways, enough of the uterus lesson...now onto Eli's life!
So because of this complication it caused me to contract all the time and eventually at 20 weeks I was put on permanent bed rest because things had started to change down there : )
A pump was placed in my leg that pumped continuous drugs into me to prevent me from contracting.  Add to that a weekly shot in my rump and monitoring twice a day with Andrew running around and you have a picture of what my pregnancy looked like.

At 37 weeks to the day I was allowed to remove the pump and at 2:00 that morning I went into labor.  Jesse told me to go back to bed that it was all in my head, so I went to the couch and timed my contractions.  At 5:00 I went and woke him up and told him I was really in labor and off to the hospital we went.  When we arrived I found out that not only was I in labor, but I was already 6 cm dilated...yikes!  No wonder I was hurting...stupid Jesse ; )

After a long hard pregnancy on bed rest we were greeted with Eli after 1 1/2 pushes!  That's why I like having little babies ; )  He has added so much to our lives and makes us laugh daily!  We love you Eli...HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY!!!!

The Cut Shirt

Okay, I have to be really careful typing shirt over and over!


Yesterday while sitting in the carpool line at school, I was greeted by the art teacher who came to my car.  She wanted to tell me what had happened that day in art class with Eli.  She said that she had introduced scissors to the class and they were cutting out shapes and gluing them on a collage.  Eli is no stranger to scissors.  He was in pre-school last year and he has scissors at home (which I have confiscated because he likes to cut bags of chips open).


She went on to tell me that Eli did a great job with cutting out his shapes and she gave him much praises for this.  However, when she turned her back to help with the other children Eli decided he was bored with cutting shapes from the paper and moved on to his shirt.   I was thinking that it was no big deal, maybe a little slit in the bottom of the shirt.  Only when I turned to see Eli sitting there in his seat I noticed his belly showing.  Yea, it wasn't just a little cut...it was a GAPING HOLE!  He's an artist, what can I say?

So, Eli got his first note home yesterday for his actions that I had to sign and return so it could be put in his permanent folder.  It's going to be an interesting year!

Eli and The Busted Lip

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Eli.  Eli was a very active boy who loved to play.  He would play anywhere he could.  In his house, outside, at school and even in the bathtub.  Eli's mommy and daddy warned Eli about playing in the bathtub though because it could be very dangerous.  Sometimes Eli didn't listen and would play in the bathtub anyways. 
One night after Eli and his brother Andrew were done with their bath they decided to play in the tub.  Eli's mommy came into the bathroom and told them that they were going to get hurt if they played in the tub.  She then got Andrew out of the tub and started drying him off.  Next it was Eli's turn, but before his mommy could get him out he had decided to do a funny trick.  When Eli started acting silly to do his trick he slipped and fell.  Eli hit the side of the tub with his mouth and busted his lip.  It hurt really really bad and he cried and cried.  Eli's mommy could tell that his tooth had gone all the way through his lip and she knew she had to take him to the doctor.  Eli was very sad because he thought he was going to have to get stitches.
Eli didn't understand why his mommy couldn't go to the doctor store and buy stitches and do the job herself.  After seeing the doctor though he found out that he didn't have to get any stitches.  He was very happy about this!
Eli decided after busting his lip that he wouldn't play in the bathtub anymore.......until the next night at least!

Mr. Elmer...the glue

They're BACK....The Red's are back....feeling 100% back...and ready for TROUBLE!

Yesterday evening I was trying my hardest to get everything done....you know...dishes from supper, baths for kids, getting clothes set out for the next day.  After supper things get a little crazy around here.  Anyways, as I was walking from the bedroom to the kitchen I see Eli dart and scamper around the corner.  I know my kids well....so I follow to find him, knowing he has done something or has gotten something he wasn't suppose to (a.k.a. Candy).  I called out for him and he stepped out into the hallway.  I asked what he had in his hands that were behind his back and he pulls out a HUGE bottle of Elmer's glue.  My heart skipped a quick beat and a little panicked I said "Eli, what did you do?".  With that he walks over and points to the fridge:

Eli has a girlfriend "Macy" who he adores.  They have been an item for a couple of years now and his eye has not strayed.  At Christmas, Macy's family had sent us a Christmas card and Eli confiscated it.  He has kept that card with her picture on it this whole time.  I didn't realize he still had it until I saw it GLUED to my fridge!!!  Yep...GLUED!  He couldn't have asked for a magnet or even tape...nope, he used GLUE!

So I chuckled under my breath and made him clean it off (which surprisingly he is very good at).  I get back to work trying my best to get everything ready for the next morning when I pass by Jesse's shoes in the hall way.  Upon walking in the door everyday, Jesse kicks off his dress shoes and leaves them by the back door.  I just happened to see a familiar white substance puddled inside the shoe. 

Again, my heart skipped a beat and I called for Eli. 

I asked "Eli, did you put glue inside daddy's shoes?".  He said "yeah"....like no big deal mom.  So I engage him more..."Eli, why did you put glue in daddy's shoes?".  He looked up at me with these big puppy dog eyes and said "because I didn't want daddy to go to work".  Yeah, I couldn't punish him after that line!  Little Weasel!

 I sent him on his way and started cleaning up the glue in the shoe...then I lifted up the shoe to get inside it.  This is when I just laughed out loud! 

 He had glued the shoes to the floor...he really didn't want his daddy going to work...that or he just played the best prank EVER!

After cleaning up ALL the glue I went into the boys room and said "Eli, is there anything else that you glued today?".....and with his simplicity he answers "yeah, right there"  and points to his wall.  He glued his picture that he had made in school to the wall! 

So now,  Elmer the glue has joined his buddy super glue in his hiding place, never to be seen or found until they have both dried up!

Super Glue II

Oh how I do love a good super glue story!  However, this time it did not involve Jesse.

Eli has these mini transformer figurines that he carries around with him and they are like precious gold.   He loves them, plays with them and sleeps with them.  He let Andrew borrow one and something happened and the leg broke.  Needless to say Eli was devastated!  So Jesse told him not to worry, we would glue his leg back on. 

I guess Jesse got busy and forgot because after a while of waiting Eli decided to take matters into his own hands. 

 Jesse and I were upstairs and we hear the "death scream".  As parents you know what cries are what and when it's a hurt cry.....well you know.  This was somewhere in between hurt/drama/scared cry.  Then we heard the feet of a thunderous run.  When I met him at the top of the stairs he was in panic mode.  He had taken his little guy downstairs to Jesse's shop to try and fix him himself.  He pulled the industrial size bottle of super glue down and tried to glue the leg back on.  Instead of gluing the leg on he glued his fingers together.  He was horrified and kept screaming "my fingers are stuck forever...sob, sob, sob"!  Jesse and I couldn't keep ourselves from laughing.  The shear drama that Eli had created was too much to bare.  Just look at his face:

After calming him down I got my finger nail polish remover out and went to work.  Not only had he glued his fingers together but he had glue all over his hand.  Precious boy!  I am happy to report that the leg got glued on promptly following the incident and is now back in one piece to continue fighting the Decepticons.

These Boots Were Made For Hunting

I was reminded last night of this story by a dear friend and couldn't believe that I haven't shared it.

As most of you know my husband is an avid hunter.  I'm talking, ducks, geese, deer, turkey, dove, etc......  He loves to be outdoors and loves to hunt.  In fact my basement is dedicated to his "trophy's" and at any given time during hunting season you will find some kind of hunting gear lying around.

Last year I bought him some new boots....state of the art....keep your feet warm and dry boots.  He goes through a pair a year so he was excited to get these "not so cheap" boots and I mean "not so cheap" literally!

After hunting he takes the boots off and places them on the landing in the garage so they can dry.  This is their permanent place during hunting season. 

Hunters get up and go hunting early in the morning before the sun comes up.  Everything is dark and still and Jesse always fights to get out of the house without waking everyone.  So one morning he dressed and walked out to the garage and stepped into his boots.  All of a sudden he feels something wet on his foot.  He pulls his foot out of the boot trying to figure out why the inside of his boot was wet.  He lifts the boot up and smells it only to realize that someone has PEED inside his "not so cheap" boot.  His sock is now wet and there is no way to get his boot clean and dry by the time he has to leave. 
You may also know that to be a successful hunter you have to be scentless....and....well pee is what you would call a deterrent to deer. 
He found his old boots changed his socks and left.  Later that morning he called to check in and told me what had happened.  Of course I was laughing, and I looked over at the boys and said "hey guys, did one of you pee in daddy's boots?".  With that Eli perks up, cocks his head to the side, smirks and says "YEA, I DID"!  Man I love that kid!

This has nothing to do with the story, but I love this picture.  This is Andrew trying on Jesse's boots when he was 1 1/2 year old

1st Day of School Cries

I have no idea why it is built into the woman's emotions to cry on the first day of school.  We know that our children will be taken care of and that the teachers are great.  We know that they will feed them, let them go to the bathroom, give them snack and treat them like their own.  We know all of this, but still cry!
I thought for sure that this year I wouldn't cry..I mean Andrew's in 1st grade and Eli's starting Kindergarten.  I thought that it was just last year because of my hormones (Payton was 3 weeks old when they started last year) that I cried.  Nope, I have come to realize that YES in deed, I am a card carrying member of the sobbing mother's first day of school club.  I am talking "ugly cry".  Try as I might, I couldn't hold the tears from flowing.  It's not that I  think they will be miserable, it's just that I am so proud of them and my heart just swells!

Jesse and I set a system in place last year because we both know I'm a crier.  Jesse takes the kids to school on the first day so I can cry my ugly cry at home and not embarrass myself or the Red's.  We repeated this process this year and Jesse left with the Red's a little while ago.  They grow up so fast : (
yeah, I'm crying again!