Go and See It!

The other night we had a "go and see it" with the Cub Scouts...oh wait....Tiger Scouts now...oops.  This glorified field trip was to Wave 3 News (our local news station) for the little tigers to see how the news is made.  Curious myself (and hoping to run into the weather guys) I decided to join in...guess I should explain the weather thing..I follow the weather religiously and it drives Jesse nuts!  I read the weather blogs, and watch the weather channel and even have the weather guys at Wave 3 as friends on facebook...yes I know it's crazy weird, but that's me!

Anyways, back to the "go and see it".  The whole family loaded up and headed downtown to meet the other scouts. We piled into the news station and were given a guided tour.  I guess I didn't realize that they would actually be doing the news at the time we were there so the fears of what the Red's would do didn't start until we arrived. 

The first room we entered was the control room with lots and lots of buttons. Andrew was standing in front of me, but Eli was becoming elusive and freaking me out a little.  I could only imagine him pushing some important button and shutting the whole place down.  Sissy Lou was in my arms and kept saying "down, down" and I kept saying "no, no"...that's all I needed!

Next up was a series of not so important rooms that led to the "important" room....where the news takes place.  Cameras, wires, news casters, were everywhere and there we all stood in the corner grasping our 6 year old scouts mouths as they filmed the news.  They went on break and I see where Andrew was standing.......out front and center of the news casters desk as the news man talked to the scouts. 

It was then that I noticed where Andrew's finger was...UP HIS NOSE....digging out some of that precious gold!  Then he does the absolutely most unthinkable thing....in front of the news guys...HE EATS IT!!!  MORTIFIED....I slipped to the back and hid and let Jesse take the looks. 

Hey, it could have been worse....the cameras could have been on Andrew!

Just another remider that The Sarge Of 4 will be moving to a new website soon!  Keep a look out for the new info!  If you are afraid you will loose the Sarge you can always become friend on facebook so you can get all the post and new web address!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Sarge-of-4/118453054884863

Are You Smarter Than a 1st Grader?

A few weeks ago Andrew was sent home with some math homework to complete.  It was all about the "Fact Triangle", which I had never heard of.  And if you do know what it is don't turn your nose up at me yet....it's been a while since I've been to 1st grade ; )
Back when we were in school I had to walk five miles, with holes in my shoes, up hill and knee deep in snow just to get to the school house.....oh wait, that's not me, that was my mom and dad's story!  Did everyone's parents use that story?
Anyways I digress (as usual).....I promise I'm getting to the story. 
If you're not a teacher and have been away from the teaching process for a while you soon realize that teaching methods have changed....for the better!  There are new concepts out there that make learning easier for kids. 
Here's a little lesson in "Fact Triangles"......

Looks easy right...well the worksheets look something like this:

Blanks...that's all I saw was blanks....and well, I  was confused.....so I did what any rational mom would do and decided I had to run to the store.  I handed the homework off to Jesse and told him I'd be back and to "take care of it".  Surely he would be able to figure this "fact triangle" puzzle out....surely.

When I returned home I found a frustrated husband sitting beside an even more frustrated 1st grader.  They had been at the homework for a while and were almost done (~Whew~I dodged a bullet)!
So I slid the homework in Andrew's backpack and sent it in to school.  A few days later the homework was returned home again with a note from Andrew's teacher that read: "Try Again".  So of course I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!  I couldn't help myself.  I mean it is quite funny that two parents with College degrees couldn't figure out a 1st graders math homework......and the kicker....Jesse was the one who did it wrong!!!!!  HA! (He's gonna hate me for this post)!

Here's where he went wrong, he added the numbers around like this:

12 + 6 = 18

6 + 6 = 12

6 - 12 = 6

12 - 6 = 6

Where he went wrong was the 12 + 6 = 18, all the numbers should equal one of the numbers in the triangle. 

The only reason I know this is because I turned to my best friend "Google" and it pointed me in the right direction.

I helped Andrew correct his homework and it clicked right away with him.  The reason he had been so frustrated with Jesse is because he was learning one way in class and Jesse was teaching him another.  Then I wrote underneath the teacher's note "Sorry, Dad's fault"...*hehe*!

I am well aware that this post makes Jesse and I look like complete idiots, but it was way too funny not to share!
Wow......my poor kids, maybe we should get them tutors now!

Andrew Meets Mr. Flu "like" Virus....

For the past few weeks now we have been hearing reports of kids dropping like flies in Andrew's classroom with a horrible flu "like" virus.  As you can imagine I held my breath and crossed my fingers that our household would be spared from the grasp of Mr. Flu.  However, last night we all met face to face at 1:30 a.m.
I was awakened by Andrew at my bedside whining and when I touched him I realized that he was burning up with fever.  I let out a huge *sigh* and woke Jesse to tell him, Andrew has "The Virus"!  I gave him some Tylenol and snuggled him close.  Andrew wasn't feeling so well and tossed and turned saying his head and tummy hurt. So I grabbed the small garbage can and we headed to sleep on the couch.
About an hour later the stomach part of Mr. Flu hit.....
Finally I was able to get Andrew settled again and he drifted off to sleep.
At 5:00 a.m. I was awakened again by Andrew, but this time he was laughing hysterically in his sleep.  At first I thought it was funny that he was laughing so hard in his sleep (this would equate to one of my snot laughs).  But then after 2-3 minutes of this laugh I started to get a little concerned.  So I touched his arm and tried to talk to him, asking him what he was laughing at.
The response I got was something in the realm of little monkey's tickling him and Sissy Lou talking to him (he said she was funny).....
The he snapped out of it, and doesn't remember any of it.
Fever does some strange things people....little monkeys and Sissy Lou talking....hmmmm
Should be an interesting few days ahead!

So can anyone tell me the point of getting the flu vaccine if the sneaky Mr. Flu morphs itself into something furious that drugs can't help?

100th Day of School Project!

Today will finally be the 100th day of school.  We have been so behind because of all the snow days we have incurred this year. 
To celebrate this momentous occasion, Andrew's teacher asked that each student make a project of 100 somethings.  After talking it over with Andrew, he decided that he wanted to make a cake with 100 candles.  I told him that we couldn't bring a real cake to school (no food policy) and that we would have to make a fake cake...he was just fine with that as long as we did the 100 candles (of course his goal was to "fire" them.....to which I said "NO WAY"!).
I figured this project would be the perfect thing for us to do during the super bowl game, so I gathered up our material and we headed to the kitchen table.  I set Eli up at one end of the table and gave him 100 noodles to paint.  he had decided on making a noodle necklace for his project.  Sissy Lou also joined in and played with the extra clay that we were using as our icing for the cake.

 Andrew and I were so focused on getting his cake done that I hadn't realized what Sissy Lou was up to until she started crying and hitting her ears.  When I went to inspect I saw that she had jammed both of her ears full of...CLAY!  We can't do anything "event free"!

It wasn't the easiest to get out either...I was just imagining having to go the ER and explain this one, however, I was sure they had seen worse!

I finally got it all cleaned out of her ears and hair and finished Andrew's project. 

Here's the final picture.....I used the monkey ribbon because their class is called "The Monkey's"!

I thought it turned out pretty cute....and Andrew was so excited to take it to school today....which is all that mattered!

If you would like to know how to make this cake check out my blog post "tip junkie":  http://thesargeof4.blogspot.com/2011/02/tip-junkie.html

The McDonald's Dream!

The other day while driving home from church the conversation turned to school.  The past week we had a few snow days that left the Red's out of school.  With those few days of freedom Andrew decided that he did not want to return to school....EVER!  So here's how that conversation went down:

Andrew: "I wish that I never had to go to school again"
The Wise MOM: "but Andrew, if you never go to school again then you will end up working at McDonald's one day"
Andrew:  "YYYYEEEESSSSSS!!!!!  WHHHOOO HOOOOO....THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!  I could eat all the chicken nuggets I wanted and get all the Bakugan toys (it's the toy they are currently giving away) that I wanted too!!!!

The Wise Mom......to Laughing Dad: "Well.....That totally backfired"!

*This post is in no way belittling the people who work at McDonald's as a career...it's a job that pays money...nothing wrong with that!  I,  just like any parent hold out the best for my kid!
Andrew has never been one to aim high....we laughed last year when they had career day at school.  They asked all the kids to dress up like what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Andrew chose:

A Construction Worker! (He's three in this picture..but it's the only one I could find with the hat).
What can I say he Dreams BIG!  Somebody has to do the work!

So tell me....What did you dream to be when you were little....um..or now?

All I Want For Christmas....

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth, my two front teeth, All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, so I can wish you a Merry Christmas!

The other night Andrew came to Jesse and said that he thought that his tooth was ready to come out.  Jesse wiggled on the bottom one and decided that it was ready!  So the procedure began, rag in hand, Andrew in front of Jesse and Jesse's hand in Andrew's mouth.
The tugging and pulling began with lots of giggles to go around. Sissy Lou was trying her best to bulldoze her way into the middle of the situation and Eli sat back with his hands covering his face. 
All of a sudden Jesse gives one good yank, and with that Andrew gets a look of shock on his face, pulls back and grabs his mouth.  Jesse, thinking he got the tooth out, starts saying, "Did I get it, did I get it?".
Andrew still looking a bit surprised steps forward and opens his mouth.....and we see a tooth on his tongue.....only it wasn't the one Jesse was pulling on....it was his top front tooth!!!
When Jesse pulled on the bottom tooth his hand slid up and knocked out his front tooth, HA!

So Andrew is legit to sing "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"!!!!  He looks so stinking cute too...just hate that he growing up so fast.

Jesse did end up getting that bottom tooth out as well!  When the Red's heard that the tooth fairy was coming they both started wiggling on their other teeth.

Eli was convinced that he had a tooth loose.....NOT even close...but I indulged him, cause that's the kind of mom I am : )

Reptiles.....

This year Andrew has asked Santa for a snake...yes a snake, reptile, slithery, slimy creature.  As much as I would love to say yes (and as many blogs as it would bring me) I had to respectfully decline.  When I broke the news to my beloved first born he was crushed.  Tears streamed and his wails could be heard for miles.   All he kept saying over and over is "Santa will bring me a snake, that's all I want, Santa will bring it to me".  For thirty minutes our conversation persisted only to meet the same brick wall.  He was not budging...he wanted a snake and that was that!  I tried reasoning with him, I tried telling him Santa didn't bring pets, I tried telling him the snake would die on the sled....nothing worked!
So being the excellent mother that I am I decided it was time to bring out the big guns.  I told him the one thing that would change his mind......that it would kill Sissy Lou.  Look, don't judge, you would have said anything you could to keep that slithery creature out of your house as well. 
I explained that the snake would get too big....bigger than daddy and that it might kill Sissy Lou, Belle or Gus.  With that he stopped crying and said..."oh, like the big snakes at the zoo"....I replied "yes Andrew, just like those big snakes".  He thinks about it for a second and says "oh, well then I don't want a snake I want a lizard".
Great.....we have jumped from one reptile to the other.
I decided that it would be a good idea to take him to the pet store to see these "lizards" in person and see if that is really what he wanted.  So after church yesterday we headed over to the pet store.  Upon arrival we quickly realized that there were only two types of lizards available...a gecko or a bearded dragon.  The manager told us that the bearded dragon would be the best for pet and she pulled one out of the cage for us to see up close.  She knelt down with it and the lizard was kind of cute...and small.  I was thinking....this could be doable....
Andrew began petting it and seemed happy....but then Eli realized what was happening and saw the lizard out of the cage and screamed with fear......like the cow & hummingbird fear (what can I say, the boy is scared of animals apparently).
Okay, see if you can picture this:
Jesse is kneeled down behind Andrew, Andrew is standing, The store manager is kneeled down in front of Andrew with the lizard on her hand, I am kneeling beside Andrew with Sissy Lou and Eli is standing behind the store manager.  We are in a small aisle with no escape.  Eli is screaming crying saying "put it up, put it up".  Sissy Lou is squealing with excitement and lunging forward trying to grab the lizard, and Andrew is petting the lizard so hard that his skin is peeling off. 

All of a sudden, with all the excitement surrounding it, the lizard makes a leap and lands on Jesse....screams and shrills let out and you would have thought someone just got bit by something.  The lizard then begins running up Jesse's arm and down his back.  Eli is screaming louder, Sissy Lou is so excited she can't stand it, and Andrew just wants the lizard back.  I am about on the ground snot laughing and all I can utter is "Jesse if that thing jumps on your face, then I am going to pee"....Jesse replies "you aren't the only one".  We are all crying laughing with the "what if" thoughts and the lizard is still running around on Jesse.  Finally the manager captures the lizard and calm returns!
Then I asked the question that killed the excitement...."so, how big do these things get?".  She answers "3 feet"......WHAT!  No way....that's as big at Andrew....No WAY......so now guess what talk we had to have with Andrew......it involved more crying and disappointment. 
Finally we told him, that maybe we wouldn't get a pet for Christmas, but we would revisit the idea for his birthday.  Something tells me that I am going to have a sad little man on his birthday as well.....but all I can envision is a 3 foot lizard running around my house (because some little monsters let him out of his cage) with 3 kids and 2 dogs chasing behind him. I think that is more than this momma can bare........
But who knows......if ever I get into a writers block and become blog less we could revisit the idea sooner....anything for you guys to have a good chuckle!

A Day At The Farm!

On Sunday we decided to take a drive out to one of the farms Jesse hunts to check on the ponds.  Thanksgiving day is opening season for duck hunting around here and most of the ponds are low.  Jesse wanted to check out the prime locations to see how they were doing.  So I gathered all our gear (boots and camera) and headed out the door. 
When we arrived Jesse pulls up to gate and says "you're going to have to open a few gates for us to drive through". 
Something happened at this very moment that I like to refer to as a brain fart.  You know when you just can't get your brain in gear....like it's working a good minute behind you.  A task so simple all of a sudden becomes mind boggling......
I look at him and say "well, how am I suppose to get through the fence?"...and with a chuckle and a smirk wide across his face Jesse looks at me and says "I guess you will have to do some problem solving".

So with my brain still working a good minute behind, I jump out of the truck, walk over to the fence, unlatch it, watch Jesse drive through, and then I shut the gate behind him.  Only problem is that I am still on the opposite side....so I did what he told me too...I problem solved by climbing the fence....BRAIN FART!

Yes, yes I realized as I was in mid straddle that I could have just walked through the gate and closed it on the other side....but I was already half way over and committed! 

I hung my head low because I knew the minute I got back in the car the blow was coming.  So I swung open the door and before I could be made fun of, I made fun of myself (best defense ever)!  Jesse was doubled over laughing with disbelief at what he had just witnessed! His pour blond wifey!

We managed to press on and drive up to the next gate (which I mastered)

but there was something blocking the road:

and they weren't budging!  Finally after honking and driving up close to them they started to dis ban! 

It was at this point that I turned around to realize that I had indeed forgot something...something very important!  ELI IS TERRIFIED OF COWS!  Don't ask me why...but they freak him out!  At least he didn't do the ugly cry......so I urged Jesse to move on quickly!

We arrived at the desired pond only to realize that it was down about 3 feet. 

We jumped out of the car and the kids (including Jesse) strapped on their boots.  I grabbed my camera and we walked down to the waters edge.  Eli ran ahead with Jesse, but Andrew stayed with me and became fascinated with a very large stick. 

He stuck it in the water and stepped forward to smush it down good.  This is about the point that he realized that his right foot was STUCK! 

 Being the good mom that I am I began snapping away pictures.  He turns and says "mom, I'm really stuck"...so I should have put the camera down to help right?  Well I didn't because I was too busy CRYING LAUGHING!!!  The harder he tried to release his foot the more he got stuck.  Then he completely lost his balance and made a huge step with his left foot and was now lodged in the muck almost doing the splits!  

So did I help....nope, I couldn't see because of the tears and snot laugh that had taken over my body!

When I went to help him out finally I noticed one thing...guess who forgot their boots...ME!  It was only when the mud started seeping through my shoes that I realized my error!

So because Andrew looked like this:

I made him stripe before getting into the car.....I mean come on....I know what that mud is....cow poop!

He's going to kill me for these pictures one day!
So that sums up our day at the farm...brain farts, gates, fear of cows, mud sinking and of course SNOT LAUGHING!!!!

The Private....in the Army

This morning as Jesse was driving the Red's to school a conversation arose about an army game that Andrew plays.  Jesse called to tell me about it and I couldn't wait to share it with you guys.  It has started my day off laughing....and what better way to start a Monday off....with a laugh!

Andrew:  Hey Daddy, you know my game Doodle Army
Jesse:  Yes
Andrew:  the guy on there talks to you...he says "Private, it's just you and me now"
Jesse:  Andrew, do you know what a Private is?
Andrew:  Yeah, it's your wiener and bum bum!

See...it made me laugh again....Potty talk gets me every time!
Jesse did explain to him what a  Private is in the Army.....only after he quit laughing!

What You Shouldn't Eat

This was the conversation at our dinner table last night:

Andrew:  "Hey mom, do you know what you shouldn't eat?"
Me: "What's that Andrew?"
Andrew: "Cigarette's, they are really bad for you and you shouldn't eat them"
Me: "Yes Andrew, they are really bad for you and you really shouldn't eat them or do anything else with them"
Andrew: "Mom, do you know what else you shouldn't eat?"
Me: "What's that?"
Andrew: "Mulch....you really shouldn't eat mulch"
Me: "Yep.....you are right.....you really shouldn't eat mulch"

I have to say that caught me a little off guard...I thought that conversation was going in a totally different direction than....mulch!

Scrapper

You know how kids come up with their own names for things, well the Red's are no different.  Over the years we have been graced with many different versions of names for things.  For instance:  "issie" (sippy cup), "stunk" (skunk),  "nam nong" (ding dong.....door bell people,  a door bell), and well....Percy the train (I will let you guys figure out what they called that one).
I think my favorite one though is "scrapper", which they say instead of pinching.  I will often hear them fighting and then one of them will say "I'M GOING TO SCRAP YOU". 
A few weeks ago I blogged about Andrew having a little trouble with swatting one of his teachers on the rear every time he saw her.  I sat him down and explained that we didn't need to pat anyone on the rear end, especially his teacher.  He really seemed to understand and promised that he would never do it again.  He did keep his word....he didn't pat his teacher's rear again......instead he scrapped her rear.  OH YEAH, he walked right up behind her and pinched her BUTT!  I went to check them out of school yesterday and she just happened to be in the office.  She said "I was just talking about your boy", and I replied: "Oh No!".  She laughed and said it's nothing serious, we were all just laughing at what he did today.  When she told me I think I turned beet red!!!  She said that not only did he pinch her rear, but when she turned around to see who did it, he winked at her!
HOLY COW, what am I going to do with this boy of mine????  I think I should start praying over this matter right now!  I'm never going to make it through his teenage years!

Handsy Andrew

Today, while waiting in carpool line, one of the teacher's came up to me and said, "I need to talk to you about something".  With that I let out a huge *SIGH* and say "Oh, No".  She says, "oh no it's not bad, I just need to ask you to talk with Andrew.   He is such a loving kid and every time he passes by me in the hallway he pats my bottom.  I don't know if he is aiming for my back and is just too short or what, but some might think it's a little inappropriate". 

I apologize again and again, and tell her that in fact he is aiming for her bottom.  It's his new thing...I have corrected him at home for this a few times.  But then I added, "I bet it makes for an interesting day to be felt up by a 6 year old"....at least she laughed.

I can just imagine Andrew walking down the hall and patting this teacher on the rear every time he sees her....what can I say they boy has game and takes completely after his daddy!

Cub Scouts.....The New Adventure

Well It's official, Andrew is now a card carrying member of the Cub Scouts and he is fired up!  Only problem is he doesn't understand why they can't go camping at every meeting. 

Yesterday was the first official meeting with their uniforms.  Jesse informed me of this small detail the day of the meeting (ARG)!  So off I went to the Boy Scout store to pick up his uniform.  What Jesse also neglected to tell me is that there were 5 patches (FIVE) that had to be sewn onto this uniform.....guess who doesn't sew?

I know you all think I am a domestic goddess, and I try my best to live up to your expectations:

To my defense...this picture was taken after giving birth to Eli...I was still in the hospital and Jesse was extremely mean to pull the camera on me. I was so drugged up that I couldn't see straight. There you have it.....your domestic goddess! This was as small as I could possibly get this photo...I'm dying right now! The lengths I go to for you guys! Now forget you ever saw this : )

But some categories I fall short in....sewing is one of them.  I took home economics in high school and had to make a dress, but after that I retired my fingers from thimbles.

What I am good at though is out sourcing...ah hum....my tailor!

When we arrived at the store and we were givien the handful of things we needed we were also given the opportunity to buy the official boy scout pants.  Let me just tell you about these pants.....they are huge....made for mammoth children.....not my runts!  I bought the size he is currently in and headed home. 

I made a quick stopped by the tailor and begged...yes begged them to sew on these 5 (FIVE) patches for me.  They agreed because they are awesome, and I was on my way.  I picked the shirt up a few hours later and then proceeded to dress Andrew in his attire.  I put the pants on Andrew and made the quick decision to unzip them at the knees (they are the two part pants/shorts). The Pants were huge, like 3 sizes too big.  Only when I unzipped them to make them shorts it looked like he was wearing pants...HUH!

So I sent my cute little tiger cub to his first official uniform wearing meeting looking like a Gangsta'....at least his underwear wasn't showing (maybe because I had his belt so tight he couldn't sit down). 

Check out those shorts, and yes that is Rudolf in the background!

I wonder if they provide a class for sewing on patches for rookie moms.....

What would you do for an iphone?

What would you do for an iphone?  I cannot live without mine.  I feel lost without it near and when it gets misplaced I feel like I've lost my wallet.  The Reds have taken an interest here lately in Jesse and my iphones.  They love to play games on them and will sneak in and grab them off the charger.  When Jesse's at work I have to monitor fights between them on who is going to play my phone first. 
Yesterday I had, had it!  They were fighting non stop about my phone....MY PHONE!!!  I tried so hard to explain that it was MY phone and that I needed it, but they didn't care....they wanted to play plants vs. zombies or angry birds.   So I put a stop to it.  I told them that Mommy's phone was off limits from now on!  Yep, I was taking back control of MY phone...so I could play angry birds : ) 
After this announcement there was lots...I mean lots of whining, grumbling,  & complaining, but I stuck to my guns.  I told them to go outside and play like normal children.

Today it started up again.  Once I picked them up from school the begging began to play my phone.  I once again stuck to my guns...no, not going to give my phone up!  When we got home they settled down and it seemed that my phone had been forgotten.....until supper time. 

I was in the middle of cooking supper and Andrew came in once again begging for my phone.  I can't say what it was, but something....an idea crossed my brain.  It's like a moment when everything comes together perfectly...a smell, an idea, and a certain end to the phone whining.

As Andrew was asking for my phone, Payton ran by and I caught a whiff of something foul.  Oh yea, she had messed her britches something fierce.  So I said, "Andrew if you will change Sissy's poopy diaper, then you can play my phone".  In all honesty I thought for sure he would say no way and then move off the subject of the iphone, but instead he looks at me and says: "you're joking".  So I pushed forward...."no, I'm not joking".  With this he flips Sissy over and tries to jerk off her pants.  I stop him and carried her to the living room where the wipes are...because from the smell of things, he was going to need a lot of wipes!
I grab the camera, because I am in disbelief that this is actually happening.  How could he want to play games so bad that he would brave the foulest smell and poopy ever.  I'm telling you it was making me gag smelling it just in the room.  As he undid the diaper I see that it is one of those "blow out" diapers.  Oh yea.....up the back.  Immediately he starts gagging and pulls his shirt over his nose.  He then pinches his nose with one hand and starts cleaning Sissy off with the other hand.  I am laughing so hard at this point that I can't keep the camera straight.  These images are just snap shots from the video camera, so they are a little blurry.

He definitely earned the right to my iphone!

Fallen Soldier

Last Night Andrew came running to me whimpering a little.  So I asked: "what's wrong Andrew?".  His reply: "mommy, I swallowed one of my army guys". 
With Andrew being 6 years old I don't worry about him choking on toys like I do Payton.  I figure that he is old enough to know better than put small toys in his mouth.  As parents, we allow our children to grow and mature and when this starts to happen we let go of the reigns a little.  The problem is.....setting the example.  You see when you have a parent who likes to chew on plastic objects for some unknown reason (I would be talking about Jesse here) it doesn't set the precedent for the kids.  He can't handle not having something in his mouth to chew...like pen tops, straws, the kids small toys, or anything plastic lying around.  I call it his nervous tick....a rather obnoxious nervous tick when none of my pens work because he has chewed the clicky part to pieces.  Okay, soap box over....now back to the story at hand.

So I say: "Andrew, are you okay?  Does it hurt? Can you show me exactly what you swallowed?".

He said he was fine and went to show me what he had swallowed.  I'm thinking to myself that there is no way he could have swallowed a whole army guy....I mean, how could he have done that?  Turns out I was right, he had just had a small part in his mouth and had swallowed it on accident.  He asked what I was going to do and I said....."well nothing, it's gone".  My job description is many things, but digging through poop for GI Joe is not one of them.

I guess you could say that there really will be a dead solider in the toilet..............

Good Bye All American Hero!  You lived a brave life...God Speed!

Clever

Over the past month or so Andrew has been having some pretty nasty nightmares that make him so terrified that he is afraid to go to sleep at night.  After talking with the doctor and trying some new things he thinks that Andrew has an over active imagination.  So over the past 3 nights before Andrew goes to sleep we pray with him and ask Jesus to help him not have any bad dreams and it's worked. 
Today while driving home from the store Andrew kept asking to play with my phone to which I told him no.  After a while he says "toy story 3 scares me" (he lured me in perfectly).  To which I answer "what are you talking about and why are you thinking about that right now?". 
(side note)*Jesse had taken the boys to see Toy Story 3 and Andrew got so scared from the freaky toys that he jumped up, put his hands over his ears, and ran out screaming.  Jesse wasn't happy about this at all and couldn't believe he got so freaked out so they ended up leaving the movie early*

So he answers "the movie toy story.....it scares me when Buzz is bad and it gives me bad dreams".  So I start telling him that the movie is just fantasy and not real and not to let it scare him.  He then looks at me and with a quivering little voice says "I think playing on your phone will make me feel better". 
Nicely played Andrew...very clever, very clever indeed!

Punishment

The other night we had an all out war with the Reds trying to get them to go to sleep.  While we were on vacation they stayed up late and now they are on the night owl schedule. The time was 11:45 and after going in their room for the fifth time I said the words they dreaded most.  I told them I was going to wake them up bright and early and they were going to clean the house.  They both wailed and promised they would go to sleep, but I stuck to my guns.  The next morning after waking them, I asked if they were ready to get to work cleaning and reminded them of their punishment and why they were getting punished.  They both wailed again and Andrew looked at me and said "MOM, you just want us to be SLAVES".  Seriously, six years old.......

Big Red's 6th Birthday

On June 13, 2004 we welcomed our first son "Andrew" into the world.  He didn't come quietly and in fact the way he decided to come has been the theme of his life...traumatizing!

I am so very thankful and blessed that God granted Jesse and I the opportunity to raise this little guy, but he has put more wrinkles on my face than I care to count (I would have said grey hairs, but I have it high lighted so much that I couldn't tell you if they were there or not)! 

On the day he was born six years ago I was just a mere 7 1/2 months pregnant.  We were visiting Jesse's brother in North Alabama and had decided that this would be the last trip we would take (trying to be careful) before the baby was born.  It was Saturday night around 10:30 when I leaned over my suit case and felt a trickle down my leg.  My first thought was that I had just peed on myself and I was a little embarrassed.  It was when it kept trickling that I became a little nervous.  I leaned my head out the bedroom door and asked Jesse to come here.  He was in the middle of watching a movie and kind of blew me off.  He wasn't happy that I had drug him away and when I told him what happened he replied with a "Joy, you just peed on yourself".  I wasn't so sure so we went to ask Melissa my sister in law her opinion.  When she wasn't sure either we thought it best to call the doctor.  They wanted me to get to the hospital asap......but I was 2 hours away!  They sent me to the closest hospital and when we arrived it was confirmed that my water had broken!  I was put on some horrible medicine to stop the contractions and put in an ambulance to take me to Birmingham.  Jesse jumped in the car and followed.  When we arrived the doctor said that we would be having a baby that day.  We were more than freaked out since Andrew was so premature.  At 1:30 on June 13th, Andrew popped out with a head full of red hair, weighing in at 3lbs 15 oz (a lot bigger than they expected) and was whisked away to the NICU.  I saw him for only an instant and he was already in the incubator.  I don't know what was worse for me....the moments right after he was born and I had no baby to hold, or the moment we left the hospital with no baby in the car seat.  Two weeks passed before I even had the chance to hold my little man and that was only while the nurse changed his sheets.  It was around 3-4 weeks before we were actually allowed to hold him and rock him.  After 2 months in the NICU Andrew was released with an almost clean bill of health.  While in the NICU they discovered that he had a rare syndrome called Beckwith Wiedemann.  This is one of the reasons he came early and also why he was bigger than they expected.  Beckwith babies are usually a little larger, have very large tongues, low blood sugar and have a tendency to develop Whelms tumors in the abdomen, plus a few other side effects.  Andrew was lucky and grew into his tongue without having to have a surgery to reduce the size and also the low blood sugar corrected itself after infancy.  The Whelms Tumors we keep a check on with ultrasounds and blood work every 3 months until the age of 10. 

In the 6 years of his life he has overcome being born 10 weeks early, Beckwith Wiedemann Syndrome, falling out a second story window (a story for a later date), Kawasaki's Disease and a splinter (read earlier post)!  Not to mention numerous black eyes and two sets of stitches.  He has enriched our lives more than I can put into words and I am so thankful to call Big Red my son!  He is so very special and I can't wait to see what plans God has for him in the future.  He has already touched so many lives in the 6 years he's been here.  I love you Big Red and I am so proud to be your Momma!

Special Ointment

The last day of school was on Tuesday so I decided to load all the kids (and both dogs..yes I'm crazy) up and head to Grandma and Grandman's house.  We love to come down during the summer because they live on a lake and we can swim and just relax!  The only down side to coming to Alabama is the fire ants!  It has been so wonderful living in Louisville where there are no fire ants to worry with.  But in Birmingham they are everywhere and deliver a sting like a wasp.  Then they leave a nice lump behind that itches for days like a mosquito bite.  Andrew is just the slightest bit allergic to them.  His bites usually swell up a good portion the the area he was bitten in and leave a hard knot behind. 

When we arrived down here on Tuesday afternoon my first words upon walking up to the door was: "boys, do NOT get into the fire ant beds".  A little while later the boys were in the front yard playing and they started poking sticks at this one:

I again tell them that they better stay away because they will get stung.  To this Andrew and Eli laugh and say "we already did, and it didn't hurt".  I remind Andrew that he is allergic and that his foot will now swell up and itch......and he responds: "I don't care".  "Alright then.....we shall see, just remember mommy told you so".  Everything is alright until later that evening when the itching really kicks in.  Eli's bite seems to be just fine, but just as I suspected....Andrew's is giving him fits!  He begs for some medicine and Grandman goes off to find something to put on it.  I was in the other room and didn't realize what my crazy father had gotten until later.  This morning my dad leans over and picks up a tube of medicine and hands it to me snickering.  He says "this is what I used to put on Andrew's bite....I think I will wait until he's older to tell him what I did".  My dad has always been a prankster....always!

So when I looked down to the tub of medicine in my hand this is what I found:

Yes...that's right, he put Monistat on my son's foot!

Andrew's Night!

The Kindergartner's and the 1st graders at Andrew's school performed a musical the other night and it was fantastic!  Each class had a different theme to dress up as and Andrew's was the 50's!  We glued his hair down rolled up his blue jeans and his sleeves on his white t-shirt and threw a leather jacket on him. He looked so cute:

He sang and danced his heart out and made his mama proud! 

Okay...I tried all day to get the video loaded up on here and failed.  Sorry, it was so cute though!