The Christmas Tree Debacle

I LOVE CHRISTMAS...everything about it...Jesus being born (had to put that first)...presents, the food, the smells, presents, the decorations that are all glittered up sparkly and shiny...the lights, carols .....did I mention presents......and of course the Christmas Tree!

The first house Jesse and I built had massive ceilings in the great room.  The kind you can't reach with a latter of any kind.  So we wanted a big full Christmas tree to accent it.  We were so very excited when we found the perfect pre-lit tree. Up until this point we had always purchased a real tree. 

So we put it up and it was perfect!  Look how happy we are....I don't think Gus was so happy...but we needed a Santa!

Year after year we put up the faithful, beautiful tree always loving it's shiny sparkly lights.

When we moved to Kentucky and Christmas time rolled around we pulled out the tree and set it up......only to realize a couple of limbs not working.  We worked and worked on them and finally got them lit.  (Sorry I had to throw in a few pictures that just made me smile...this has nothing to do with the tree...just my sweet little Eli....this gives me baby fever just looking at him).  Moving on....

 Notice the limbs out in the middle of tree here

The next year same thing (yeah, these are the only pictures I have of the tree) The bottom limbs started to not work...hince the reason we are blocking it with our bodies!

and the next...bottom limbs still not working

Last year we had, had it!  There were limbs all over the tree that were not working and try as we might we couldn't get them back on.  We vowed that was the last year for our beautiful NOT so shiny sparkly tree.  To goodwill it went and the search began for our new and improved super sonic shiny sparkly tree!  This was the last family picture with the late tree (you all should be familiar with this picture by now).

I got on line and started my search for a 9 foot pre-lit full Christmas tree.  When I found that fit my critiria I quickly glanced at the price and was overwhelmed. They do know that these things are plastic right???  What makes them worth ALL that $$$$$$$$?  Finally I found one that was in our price range....and it was FREE shipping....so of course I ordered it!
I will go ahead and admit I am one of those freaks who loves to set up for Christmas in the middle of November, way before Thanksgiving!  If Jesse would let me I would set up in October!
Anyways,  It came and I was ready to put that bad boy up!  Jesse and I put the whole tree up and then plugged it in.......only the same limbs that didn't work on our other tree DIDN'T WORK ON THIS ONE EITHER!!! 
We just stood there dumb founded!  Scratching our heads in a certain disbelief.  Asking ourselves one question:  Are we cursed with Christmas trees?
This is Jesse working on the tree....cursing it in his head....

After calling the help desk and trying our best to fix it we gave up and loaded it back in the box.  We took it back to the store to exchange...but guess what...THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANYMORE!
We are cursed!
So the search began again!  Finally I located another tree that was only $1.00 more. We drove over and grabbed one of the two that were left...WHEW!
Yesterday we spent the day decorating the house and putting the tree up.  Only this time every time we put a section together we plugged in the lights to see if they worked...holding our breath every time!
Notice a much Happier Jesse

Even happier...the Red's and Sissy Lou.

 Here's our finished product for the Richardson 2010 Christmas!

TA DA!
Don't worry, we know it is leaning a little.... we're cursed remember!

The Truth And Nothing But The Truth

I was out the other night and left Jesse on kid detail.  I have said this before and I'll say it again...I can always count on a blog after Jesse watches the kids.  Don't know why, but it never fails.  So below is the recounted story from Jesse to me:
Jesse was upstairs getting Sissy Lou ready for bed when he heard a loud crash.  Immediately he knew that a window had been hit.  He jumped up and ran downstairs only to find the Red's scampering away.  Jesse looked at the windows to make sure they were still in tact...and they were, but there was something lying on the floor next to the windows.  I'll give you a guess...I blogged about it a few weeks ago....A SMALL WOODEN BASEBALL BAT!

I'm assuming that the talk we had with them on that day had slipped their minds!  Anyways, Jesse looks over at the Red's and says: "Alright, what happened?".
Andrew: "Eli did it"
Jesse: "Eli, what did you do?"
Eli: "I didn't do nothing daddy"
Jesse: "Eli, I heard something and I know you did something....so what is it?"
Eli:  "Um, maybe it was a bird that flew into the window?"
Jesse: "Eli, you need to tell daddy the truth"
Eli: "Um, maybe the bat flew itself over and hit the window"
Jesse: "Eli, you had better tell me the truth right now, when you lie you get into trouble, but if you always tell daddy the truth you will not get into trouble...do you understand?"
Eli: "yes sir"
Jesse: "Alright then, tell me what happened"
Eli: "well....I threw the bat and it hit the window"
Jesse: "thank you for telling the truth...because you told the truth you will not get into trouble"

This all has a point...just bare with me a moment!

A little while later.......
Jesse tells the Red's to come up and get into the tub.  After a few minutes he goes into the bathroom to check on the progress of them bathing themselves (which usually takes forever)!  When he opens the bathroom door he sees that they have indeed washed everything but themselves.  The bathroom was drenched in water....it was all over the floors, the walls, the vanity...EVERYWHERE!
What you have to understand is that we have had this same conversation with them a million times... "DO NOT SPLASH THE WATER OUT OF THE TUB"!  I even quit letting them take a bath together for a while to remedy the problem.....now back to the story:
So again Jesse looks at the Reds and says:

"Alright...WHO DID IT?"
and with that Eli jumps up and raises his hand as high as he can and says
"IT WAS ME DAD, I DID IT"

Don't you hate when previous lessons come back to bite you in the buttocks! 
Smart Boy!

Belle....The Hunting Dog???

I have had a dilemma from the day that Belle arrived at our house.  I have never owned a big dog before so my knowledge is limited on the demands big dogs make on a person.....and a house. 

The hardwoods of this house were a huge selling point to Jesse and I when we bought this house.  They were beautiful and shiny....and who doesn't like shiny!  We have now lived here for 4 1/2 years and well...the shine started to fade quickly after the Red's pushed and shoved their toy cars over it and.....dumped stuff on it.  However, they were still in pretty good shape.  That was until Belle arrived. 
Here's the dilemma.....BIG DOG + BIG DOG NAILS = RUINED HARDWOODS!  She has scratched them to pieces and try as I might to keep her nails trimmed....she still scratches them! I am not talking about the kind of scratches you just buff out.....nope, I'm talking about the kind you spend a few grand on getting the floors refinished.

 I was joking with a friend of mine the other day and I said "wouldn't it be nice if they made some kind of plastic cap to go over dogs nails?".  She agreed and we went on exploring the various things we could cover the nails with......laughing of course...a lot (we got a little carried away).
 A few days later I hauled Belle and Gus off to the vet to get groomed and overheard the receptionist talking with someone about none other than nail caps for dogs.  I thought for sure I had just been sent a message from the Lord himself!  So I ease dropped a little more and found out where to purchase these bad boys.
Later that day I found myself at the pet store asking about these nail caps for dogs only to be looked at like I was an idiot.  Finally, the sales manager came over and pointed me in the direction of the cat aisle.  He explained that they didn't make them for dogs...just cats.  BUMMER!
On the drive home I couldn't help but wonder if some crazy person out there like me....with the same dilemma as me...had in fact made nail caps for dogs.  You all know that there are ALL kinds of crazies out there when it comes to pets (I use to be one until I had kids, I can't begin to count the many outfits I bought for pour Gus...he even had his own jammies...sad but true).
When I arrived home I jumped on the computer to do my research and wouldn't you know that there is a product out there to solve my dilemma!  So I ordered them......
They arrived yesterday and this is the finished product:

They are soft plastic nail caps that you glue on...like a fake finger nail!!!! I LOVE IT....because it made me laugh...and they work!  Please keep in mind that this is Jesse's hunting dog : )  I couldn't resist....I had to get pink! Every girl needs to be a little DIVA every now and then!
I just can imagine Jesse out there in the marsh, knee deep in camo...with Belle to his side with her flaming HOT PINK TOES!!!  See...doesn't that make you smile too!
 

Sissy Lou The Beautician

This weekend Sissy Lou happened upon some of my lip gloss.  It was tucked way back in one of my drawers and she found it.  So I opened it and put some on her.  She decided that she wanted to do it herself and took the lip gloss from me.  This is Sissy Lou applying the lip gloss to herself:
Check out the sides of her face 

 She actually made it on her lips this time

She is so very proud of herself!

She soon got bored and locked in on another target

Gus bracing himself for impact....INCOMING!!!!

Gus saying "ARE YOU SERIOUS....I cannot believe you are letting her do this to me....ON MY NECK!  Her aim is a little off!

 She quickly realizes her mistake and goes in for the kill shot

 GOTCHA!

After Gus ran away with hot pink lips she looked for another target.....and since I was behind the camera she decided to go for the Red's!  Eli was up first...and his nose

 Then his cheek...what a good big brother!

 She actually got Andrew's lips .....they must really love her!

 and then his nose too...

Finally I wrestled the gloss out of her hands and wiped everyone clean....except for Gus...he was still hiding! 
I decided to save the rest for later when Jesse was home : )

Belle The Glow Dog

 I have been a pretty supportive wife with the whole hunting thing.  I was even supportive when Jesse wanted to get a retriever to help with his duck hunts.  When he brought Belle home she fit right in.  The Red's love her, Sissy Lou dominates her and Gus is lost without her.  She has been a great dog and a great addition to our family.  She is very well trained and hasn't given us much trouble at all....except for the past TWO WEEKS!  Something clicked inside her tiny brain and she has decided to make up for her good behavior the past year all at once.

It all started when Jesse returned from his North Dakota hunting trip.  I am assuming that somewhere out in the middle on no where that Belle lost her mind.  Maybe she was overwhelmed with how many ducks she had to retrieve, or maybe she froze to death in the State that is minutes from Canada....your guess is as good as mine.  One things for sure...she came back a different dog. 

It started out with a pair of Jesse dress shoes (that are not cheap).  We just chucked it up to her missing him since they had been together for every waking hour the past ten days.  Then she moved on to whatever toy was lying around the house.  She would take it to her kennel and chew it to pieces.  Then it was my house shoes (which I adore and can't live without.....I even go to car pool in them....yes I know you are laughing, but they are the best!) needless to say I was not a HAPPY!

Then she would run down the road to visit everyone every time I let her out.  Then she chewed one of my Euro shams that goes on our bed (at this point I am growing a hatred toward this dog). 

Not to mention the countless times she has rolled in poop....all in TWO WEEKS...she has had at least 3 baths. Then she did something that I would have never guess she would chew...THE COUCH (now I'm ready to look for a new home for Belle The Wonder Dog).

But two days ago she chewed something that just made me laugh.

On Halloween the kids all had glow stick bracelets so we could keep up with them (not that it helped).  Since then I have been finding them all over the house and then throw them away.  Apparently I missed one and Belle found it.  I was sitting here the other day and all of a sudden I see Belle started bucking like a wild horse.  She is jumping, bouncing and shaking her head.  Then I notice that she is foaming at the mouth something fierce!  She was drooling puddles on my floor and looked to be agitated with the whole thing. I walked over to her kennel to see what she had gotten into and found....a glow stick bracelet.  She had been chewing on the end and punctured it. 

No worries people she didn't shallow enough of it to hurt her and the vet said she would be just fine.  But it did make me laugh that she finally got HERS!  That will teach you Belle...SO Stay away from my pillows, my couch and for goodness sakes my HOUSE SHOES!

It Never Fails....

It never fails....every..yes, EVERY time I schedule to have our pictures taken as a family, one of the kids will fall and get a huge knot on their head or black eye....EVERY TIME!
I guess most of you can tell that I do not have many pictures that include the whole family by the picture above that graces the header of this blog.  That picture was taken last year in front of our Christmas tree by a sweet friend who knows my plight.
I have been trying for months to schedule pictures for our family.  We have yet to get a picture that would hang in the house that includes Sissy Lou....and she is 16 months old!  Between the Red's schedule, my schedule, Jesse schedule and sickness we have landed on TODAY!  I have had the coordinating outfits picked out for weeks. 
Yesterday, since it was such a nice day outside, we decided to play basketball as a family.  Sissy Lou was busy running around the front yard, the Red's were trying to block Jesse and I was trying to get my mums planted in a pot (for the pictures of course).  All of a sudden I hear a loud cry....the hurt cry...you can always tell the difference.  I look up to find Jesse squatting next to Sissy Lou and looking at her head. I dashed over to see what was going on only to find out that Sissy had fallen down and hit her head.  She had a lovely nice lump right at the top of her forehead....NICE! 
After checking her out to make sure she was alright I went for the ice pack.  We had to cancel the last set of photos we had schedule for this very reason....she actually fell the day of the pictures that time. 
I am praying that if I position her hair just so and maybe with some touch up you will not be able to see the RED bump on her head!  Oh Well.....it kind of "is" our family anyways so why not have a picture that shows the "true" us!
Hopefully I will have a nice family shot to replace the old Christmas picture soon....here's hoping!

Camping

There is a briskness in the air that signifies that Fall has arrived.  The trees are full of autumn colors and the most important thing is that grass does not need to be cut any longer...can I get an AMEN!  I guess it is because of the crispness outside that my mind has wondered this weekend to memories of our first and only camping trip.  So I thought I'd share a little bit of that memory with you all today.

We all were so very excited...we had our new 8 sleeper tent, hot dog skewers, smore makings and lots and lots of SNACKS.  Snacks are necessity around the Richardson household.  In fact I just found a shirt that I bought for Andrew that says "Hello, my name is...I'm here for the snacks".  I think I hear the question at least five times a day "mom, can I have a snack now?". 

Sorry I digress......Anyways, we were ready for our first camping trip.  It was late September 2008 and it had been a long hot dry summer. We pulled up to the state park and we were greeted with a friendly sign that read "FIRE BAN...NO CAMP FIRES ALLOWED!".  Talk about a huge punch in the gut.....what a bummer...no hot dogs, no smores...what kind of camping trip would this be?

We pressed on and picked out our rustic camp site and unloaded the car.  Jesse immediately jumped on the tent and I was left to round up the Red's who were.....restless!  Finally the tent was set up and we decided to take a hike.  Only problem was Andrew did not want to take a hike.  He wanted to do this:

 and this is what he did most of the camping trip.

We managed to talk him into the hike by telling him that there were all kinds of bugs that he could find...and that was all it took.  With Bug catchers in hand off we went down hiking trails.  I think Gus was the most excited...

 After our long hike (who are we kidding it lasted all of 30 minutes) we decided to take advantage of the small park that was strategically placed near our camp site.  Maybe the people who built this camp site new how hard it is to keep children occupied while camping....whatever the thought process was it was pure genius in my book! 

 The Red's loved every minute of swing time, but mom and dad grew weary and restless and decided to let Gus have a turn down the slide just for entertainment purposes....

No we are not cruel to the dog....he ran up the play set himself...scouts honor!  We just kind of helped him down the slide....he didn't seem to mind and he ran faster than I have ever seen the little wiener run before!  I think he kind of felt like a grey hound for a brief moment. 

Jesse planned ahead a little and brought our propane tank just in case so we cooked our hot dogs on a skillet instead of a fire.....and attempted to roast our marshmallows over the same flame with no success. 

It was dark and with nothing to do we decided to call it a night.  We packed up all the food and  put it all inside our tent.  It was mostly our snacks and we thought it was the best solution.  We didn't have to worry about bears...just the little small animals like raccoons and skunks.

In the middle of the night Gus starts stirring in the tent and woke Jesse and I both.  We then hear the sound of crunching leaves all around our tent.  Jesse grabs his flash light and gently unzips the windows.  He shines the light and gently zips up the tent window again.  He turns and whispers in a stern voice "DO NOT MAKE ANY NOISE".  He goes on to tell me that we are surrounded...yes SURROUNDED by SKUNKS!!!!  

There were too many to count and we started giggling a little.  Gus is squirming and whining so I grabbed him before he could start the barking process and get us all sprayed.  We decided to zip up every hole we could find just in case the skunks got spooked and spray. 

I literally had Gus hugged to my chest to keep him still with my hand around his mouth.  He was ready to ATTACK!!!  We were doubled over with the pain of not being able to laugh.  You know the feeling...like you are in church and you get tickled but you know no matter what you cannot laugh out loud.  We had tears pouring down our face  with the pain of holding the laughter back.  We just knew we were going to get sprayed! 

All of a sudden we heard another noise....something was scratching at our tent....the skunks were trying to invade us.  The food we had wrapped up and put inside our tent was now causing them to tear the tent apart.  I guess after many failed attempts they decided to leave.  The next morning when we got up, Jesse and I noticed all the paw prints that were on our tent.  We hit our knees right there and THANKED GOD we didn't get sprayed!!!!

When the Red's woke up we told them about all the skunks and this is what Eli told us he would do to them:

KARATE CHOP!

We have not managed to build the courage to camp again....

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Yesterday I made a trip across town to go and pick out our new mattress.  To get to this place I had to go through an extremely busy part of town on the interstate.  This section of roadway is usually jammed up with tons of semi's and the road just seems a bit narrow.  I'm saying all this to explain how important the need to pay attention is especially in this section. 
Payton was chillin' in the back and we were on our way when all of a sudden this furry eight eyed monster  appears out of no where...ON MY STEERING WHEEL!  Generally I am not the one with the acrophobia...that is usually left up to Jesse.  He hates spiders and nothing gives me more joy than to hear him squeal like a girl when one gets near him.  Unfortunately on this day it was me that was doing the squealing!
I looked down and saw this creepy brown spider (that I convinced myself was a brown recluse) and my stomach sunk.  I felt helpless and immediately broke out in a cold sweat.  I had that sinking feeling in my belly and I panicked!  I was on the worst section of interstate and stuck between two semi's.  There was no where to go...I was...trapped...by two trucks and a spider!

FYI: This is not the spider in question...and may be a smidge smaller

I decided to grab a napkin and try to squish it before it could get me.  Probably not the best decision while driving but I was desperate!  So I reached up and went for the monster......and it disappeared...it was not in my napkin and not on the steering wheel.  Now I was really freaking out....WHERE DID IT GO....NOW I'VE JUST MADE IT MAD.....IT'S GOING TO GET ME!
I saw an exit ramp just ahead and thought it would be best for me to pull over and finish this battle once and for all before I crashed. I could just hear the report now: "Woman freaks out over spider on steering wheel causing a massive pile up on HWY 264".
As I pulled off the exit I was immediately aware that this was probably not the best part of town.  So I could die by spider or gun fire......and I chose gun fire.....the spider had to DIE!
I jumped out of the car and started searching for the little booger....Oh, I mean HUGE, GINORMOUS, MAD EATING TARANTULA.  It had fallen down to the floor mat and that is where he met his maker....smashed with the bottom of my shoe. 
BLAH.....It still makes me a little sick thinking about it...*shiver*!


Courtesy of my dear friend Wendie Gabbard:
Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the steering wheel.
Down glanced poor Joy and gave her best girl squeal.
Squeal went the tires and the door flew open wide.
And the itsy bitsy spider ... was flung under a semi and died.

What You Shouldn't Eat

This was the conversation at our dinner table last night:

Andrew:  "Hey mom, do you know what you shouldn't eat?"
Me: "What's that Andrew?"
Andrew: "Cigarette's, they are really bad for you and you shouldn't eat them"
Me: "Yes Andrew, they are really bad for you and you really shouldn't eat them or do anything else with them"
Andrew: "Mom, do you know what else you shouldn't eat?"
Me: "What's that?"
Andrew: "Mulch....you really shouldn't eat mulch"
Me: "Yep.....you are right.....you really shouldn't eat mulch"

I have to say that caught me a little off guard...I thought that conversation was going in a totally different direction than....mulch!

We Paid the Price!

I have always consider myself somewhat of an intelligent person.  I mean.....I am usually pretty good at thinking things through, weighing the pros and cons and knowing what to avoid.  That is until last week when I decided to blog about our tradition in picking out our pumpkins.  At the end of the blog I wrote a small sentence and it was: "Can any of you tell that my kids haven't done anything lately to write about....or is this what you call writer's block????". 
What a stupid thing to say......it was like I was begging for my kids to do something.  I know better than to question the quietness around the house.  I should have embraced the fact that I had nothing terrible to write about.  But instead I dared fate to take it's course....I willed The Red's to invade....I....I asked for it.

Two things...two things that I did terribly wrong:
1.  I said out loud that my kids had not gotten into anything so I had nothing to write about.
2.  We had a yard sale.

Jesse and I were so busy getting things ready for the yard sale and then again doing the actual yard sale that we neglected our instinct on the Red's.  Sissy Lou was covered...she never left my side, but the Red's...well they are 6 & 5 and kept running in and out of the house like wild Indiana's that had consumed too much fire water.  The sum of the statements above is this...WE PAID THE PRICE!

The yard sale had ended and I was busy getting the left overs boxed up and ready to go to Goodwill.  The things I decided to keep I took downstairs to our storage room.  On my way back upstairs I noticed a few things that were out of place. 
They were: a hammer and a screw driver lying on the floor with a very large screw. 
Then my eyes glanced up to a few holes that had been placed into our walls.  The Red's had been busy alright....they had been trying to hand their basketball goal themselves right into the wall using Jesse's hammer, screw driver and a few screws.  They were not successful though and this is what was left in the aftermath:

The culprit for this stunt:

As I was busy examining the new wholes in our walls I glanced up to find this:

This is one of Jesse's beloved pictures.....BROKEN....
The culprit for this stunt:

He's not happy because I just told him I was going to have to talk to his daddy about this!
He said he was playing baseball in the basement and the bat just flew out of his hand......
this is said bat:

 We have now moved past the little boys messes into BIG boy messes.....I am NOT ready for the big boy messes yet, and I don't think my house will survive them either.  Time to stock up on some spackle 
 I will never, never, NEVER, complain about not having anything to write about ever again!