Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Bathroom Break

I really don't understand what it is about bathrooms or bathroom humor, but my boys are all about it.  I have three different stories I'd like to share.  One happened a while back and the other two happened this past weekend that reminded me of the other one.  Hope you all enjoy.....
We make the trip down to Birmingham a few times a year and we always seem to stop at the same places.  Nashville is a good place to take a potty break because it is almost halfway.  Right outside of Nashville there is this truck stop that we always stop at.  Don't ask me why...it's not planned....it just happens.  A while back I was making one of these trips by myself (pre-Payton) and we stopped off at the old faithful truck stop.  I take the boys by the hand and lead them into the bathroom with me.  We always go into the largest stall, because 3 people just don't fit into a regular one well.  Andrew and Eli immediately pull down their pants and each of them start peeing in the potty. Try and picture this:  Andrew is standing at the front of the potty and Eli is standing on the side and both are peeing.  Eli overshoots the toilet and his pee stream is hitting the side wall.  I startled him and said Eli aim in the potty...when I said this his stream of pee went from the wall to the floor and onto the lady's foot who was in the stall next to us...I was mortified!  We scurried out as fast as we could to avoid that confrontation!
This past week we made the trip down again.  It was just me with all three kids so I stopped off at the last exit in KY.  This one was a rather nice truck stop that has bathroom stalls with walls and doors all the way to the floor.  The only problem is that they don't have a large stall.  I sent the boys in one and I tried my best to hold Payton and pee at the same time....interesting is all I have to say!  That's not my story, I just thought you guys would find it humorous thinking about me holding the baby and trying to pull my pants down to pee.
Okay.....back to the real story.....
So mom had cooked breakfast on Saturday morning and Stephen my brother had come over to eat with us.  He walks in and my boys attack!  The "Red's" love to fight with their Uncle Stephen!  So after a few minutes Stephen tells them that he has to go potty.  The "Red's" both look at each other and then to Uncle Stephen and announce..."we have to go too".  So Stephen let the boys go first...again in the same fashion as I mention earlier... Andrew in front and Eli on the side.  After they were finished he says "okay, it's my turn", and tries to get them to leave.  They make it to the door and Stephen starts his business.  The "Red's" then decide it will be funny to cut the lights on and off as fast as they can...then they just left them off.  The 1/2 bath in mom and dad's house does not have a window so it is now pitch black and Stephen is trying his best to pee....in the dark.  Then they run up behind him and start spanking his booty making Stephen wet mom's back wall!  Gotta love those boys!

Sunday we started our trip back and just like normal we manage to stop off at our regular truck stop.  I take the boys in to pee and we walk in the bathroom Eli leading, Andrew behind him and I am bringing up the rear.  Before I can get my hands on them  Eli walks right back to the large stall and pushes the door open.  Only the stall was not empty....there was an older woman on the pot and now the door is wide open.  Eli did nothing..he just stood there with Andrew right beside him staring down this woman.  I could see her trying her best to reach the door as she was sitting on the potty...but it was just out of reach.  I didn't want to embarrass her any longer so I lean forward trying to reach the door without seeing her and it's just out of my reach..all the time saying "Eli shut the door...Eli SHUT THE DOOR..ELI".  Finally I manage to reach over grab the door and pull it apologizing profusely as I do so.  I quickly pull them into a smaller stall and get the heck out of there!  Gotta love those boys!

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