Thursday, September 30, 2010

Happy Birthday Jesse!

Happy 38th Birthday to my amazing, loving husband!  I love you so very much and I'm so blessed and privileged to have such a strong man of God in my life and our kids lives.  You are such an amzing father and nothing makes me happier than to see you pour your love on them.    I would not be the woman that I am today without your help molding me, pushing me and loving me over the past 12 years!  
 I was sitting here this morning thinking about Jesse's birthday, I was overcome with how many lives he has touched in his 38 years.  I thought how awesome it would be for me to just share with you a little about Jesse and what makes him so very special.  So, here is a little of his amazing testimony:

"I was born in Cicero Illinois September 30, 1972.  My father was a pretty violent guy and was murdered when I was 2 years old.  I grew up in a very dysfunctional home but was fortunate to have a mother who loved me very much.  At the age of 18 I was the first of my family to graduate high school.  From their I received a college scholarship to play division I baseball at Northern Illinois University.  I had some good success in college but found myself falling into the traps that many in my family had.  I was drinking regularly, experimenting with drugs, and indulging in very unhealthy premarital relationships.  As college wrapped up I was drafted by the Milwaukee Brewers and was excited to pursue a life as a professional athlete.  As I entered into what many would call a dream opportunity I found myself participating in nightmarish behaviors.  I sunk deeper and deeper into a life of despair.  At this time a number of incredible things occurred.  One, I was reunited with my brother Mike.  When we had last seen each other 5  or so years earlier he was a drunk violent guy.  Now he was what he called "a born again Christian".  I was floored by the change but thought he was a bit crazy.  Next I met another Christian on the Brewers who was all over me about Jesus and the Gospel.  Finally, I sustained a knee injury.  My injury gave me a lot of time to reflect and when I was at my darkest time in the off-season my Christian buddy from the Brewers called me and said that he had inured the same knee and was rehabbing in Arizona.  I was floored by his call and even more floored when he invited me to come rehab with him.  There he took me to Bible studies and got me involved in the baseball ministry.  This still was not for me and then a final amazing thing happened.  A old high-school friend called and asked me to come visit.  When I arrived she told me she was a Christian!  Wow...I couldn't get away from these people.  I spent the night at her house, on the couch of course, and the next day she MADE me go to church with her.  It was there that I was introduced to the saving grace of Jesus and my life was forever changed.  Because of his sacrifice, my life's direction took an about face.  Baseball ended, and a new life began.  I have since met the love of my life, have 3 beautiful kids, and am blessed to be living for the King."

Even though Jesse's birthday is September 30th his true "birth" day was January 12, 1997 because that is the day he became a New Creation!  I want to share just a few snippets from some of the people that Jesse has touched over his life span.

"Your witness, encouragement, and living by example have impacted me in such a positive way"
"Thanks for your friendship, guidance, and love and know that you have had a profound influence on me."
"On a daily basis I have situations that need someone like you to remind me of the Christian answer to give or the Christ like way to act.  You brought me closer to the Lord and I can never thank you enough."
"You came into our lives when we definitely needed Christian leadership."
"It is an honor for me to speak about the impact Jesse has had on my life.  In a sentence, he, other than Jesus, is solely responsible for me coming to know Christ."
"One thing I love is that you are bold about your faith."
"He has always made me a better man, a better husband, a better father and a better Christian, by his example."
"Your steadfast love for Christ is and will always be an inspiration to everyone that meets you."
"I remember you giving me your testimony and you said, "I can't believe He saved me! He saved ME!" A truer statement was never said."
"Your Godly like character and steadfastness when things are good or when troubles come has been a blessing to me."
"It is fantastic to see someone who lives faithful to his God, his family, and his friends."
"You were the first to introduce me to Christ."

All this is not to put Jesse up on a petal stool.  He knows he is not perfect (well maybe he doesn't know, but I do...kidding).  The difference is that he strives daily to live a life after God's heart.  When he stumbles, he gets up and keeps going. He's not scared or ashamed to share what God has done for him.  He is just trying to do what we all should be doing....sharing the gospel of Christ!
So to celebrate Jesse's birthday today, share your love for God with someone.  And if you don't know God, today is a great day to get to know Him.....He's waiting with arms wide open!


Monday, September 27, 2010

Attack of the Hummingbird

The other night Jesse and the Red's were out side playing and left the garage door open.  It had gotten dark so Jesse was trying his best to corral the Red's inside.  He got them both in the garage and was just about to shut the garage door when I spotted two hummingbirds trapped inside the garage.  I yelled out for him to stop so we could try and get these things outside.  I decided the best idea was to get the Red's inside because they were yelling so loud at the hummingbirds and scaring them to death....not to mention Belle jumping around trying to snag one out of the air.
I manage to get Andrew inside and we were working on getting Belle and Eli in when Jesse grabs a broom.  Jesse then starts to tap on the railings for the garage door trying to scare the birds down.  Eli had just about made it to the landing of the top of the stairs when all of a sudden the hummingbirds start flying toward the door.  I knew what a nightmare it would be trying to get these birds out of the house so I made the quick decision to shut the door.  What I didn't factor in was how much Eli was going to freak out because of this tiny little bird.
All of a sudden I hear this loud deafening scream...AHHHH, AH, AH, AH, AH!!!!!!!  So I open the door and Eli is standing there hands full of his toys, hands clinched tight around them, tears streaming, and eyes closed screaming as loud as he could.  I looked at him and asked, "Eli, what's wrong with you?".  He replies: "THE BIRDS ARE GOING TO GET ME...SOB, SOB, SOB!!!".
Yes, the hummingbirds were going to attack Eli.......hummingbirds....the smallest birds on the planet......yep......that's what induced so much fear that caused a major freak out for Eli!
As I am dealing with him I happened to look up in the hall way and see that one of the hummingbirds managed it's way inside our house and now we had to make sure it didn't get out of the hallway.  Eli looked up and saw the dangerous man eating bird, dropped everything in his hands and ran away as fast as he could screaming like something was going to get him.

Laughing, I called Jesse inside because he was still trying to get the other bird out of the garage.  He grabbed his fishing net and we were able to successfully extract the bird. 
Whew, another life saved at the Richardson household!
Unfortunately, Eli will be forever scarred by a......HUMMINGBIRD!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Handsy Andrew

Today, while waiting in carpool line, one of the teacher's came up to me and said, "I need to talk to you about something".  With that I let out a huge *SIGH* and say "Oh, No".  She says, "oh no it's not bad, I just need to ask you to talk with Andrew.   He is such a loving kid and every time he passes by me in the hallway he pats my bottom.  I don't know if he is aiming for my back and is just too short or what, but some might think it's a little inappropriate". 
I apologize again and again, and tell her that in fact he is aiming for her bottom.  It's his new thing...I have corrected him at home for this a few times.  But then I added, "I bet it makes for an interesting day to be felt up by a 6 year old" least she laughed.
I can just imagine Andrew walking down the hall and patting this teacher on the rear every time he sees her....what can I say they boy has game and takes completely after his daddy!

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Back in February I told you guys of a conversation I had with the Red's about heaven.  I don't know why I am always the one who gets stuck with the heaven conversations, but somehow they seek me out.
Last night I was reading the Red's a Bible story. It was the parable Jesus told about the fisherman's net (Matthew 13:47-49).  It says that the fisherman fished where there were many types of fish and then they kept the good fish and tossed out the bad fish.  It goes on to say that the fisherman's net is like God's kingdom, everyone wants to be part of His kingdom but the angels will come and separate the godly people from the ungodly people. 
As soon as I read that last part Andrew perks  up ready to fire questions away, and I felt a knot in my stomach.  Jesse is so much better at handling the Red's crazy questions than I am.  I get a blank stare on my face and search deep for the "right" answers to tell them. 
So Andrew says "what's ungodly people?"
I tried to explain the best I could by saying "well, it's those who have not asked Jesus into their hearts to live forever, and those who choose not to live like Jesus everyday".
Eli says "yeah, like hitting people"
Andrew: "or bullying"
Me:  "okay, sure"
I continued reading the story, but I soon realized that our conversation would continue after I read these words: "The godly people will live in heaven with me forever".
Then I knew where their little minds were headed and I knew where the questions would aim and sure enough I was right.
Andrew: "I want to go to heaven tomorrow"
Eli starts to tear up and says with a wail "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN".....and the tears started flowing.

I tried my best to console him and reassure him that heaven is the best of the best.  It is more beautiful than we could ever imagine.
Andrew chimes in with: "yeah Eli, it will have all kinds of toy stores and you don't have to pay any money and you can get whatever you want....right mom?"
Me:  " is more awesome than we can ever think"
Andrew:  "and all my girlfriends will be there"

This is where I start stumbling around
Me:  "um...sure"
Eli:  "but it won't have food and drink"
Me:  "Eli, you won't need food and drink there"
Eli:  "but I will get hungry and thirsty"
I begin looking for my exit because I see there is NO END IN SIGHT!!!!

Eli:  "what about my teacher, will she be there"
Eli:  "what about my girlfriend Macy"
Eli:  "what about Gus and Belle"
Eli:  "what about our house"
I wanted so badly just to say yes to all these questions and tell them not to worry.  That it would be a long time before we got to go to heaven, but I knew better.  We are not promised tomorrow. 
I can't say that Eli was just as fired up as Andrew, but he did calm down.
After a few more questions I told them it was time to pray (and boy, did I need to pray at this point)!  It still amazes me how fired up Andrew gets about heaven at such a young age.  At the same time my heart ached with the thought of ever loosing him (or any of them).  I had to retire myself to prayer and remind myself that even though I love these kids more than I can stand that God loves them even more and they are His first!
I found it a bit strange that Andrew (a 6 year old) would teach me a lesson.  We should ALL be just as excited about heaven as he is.  Isn't that what it's all about!

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Reds Strike Again!

Many of you have read about the debacle concerning our TV.  For those of you who have no clue on what I'm referring to here is  a brief recap:
Our TV for the basement that we bought last October just quit working one day.  We called the company and after being yanked around for a month they finally shipped a new one out to us.  It took another two weeks for the thing to be delivered, for a grand total of 6 weeks of no TV for the "man cave" (and that is all inclusive of Jesse and The Red's).  So we now have had the TV back for around two weeks and this is where my story begins:
Jesse is very protective of "his" TV.  He babies the thing, dust it, and wipes the screen off carefully.  I have also found him down stairs a couple of times with his arms wrapped around it whispering sweet nothings into the speaker =]

The other day I was gone and the Red's were in the basement playing.  It was late when I returned so Jesse had just put the Red's to bed.  When I walked in, Jesse decided to head downstairs to  his "man cave" and watch some hunting shows.  He was only gone a minute when he returned upstairs holding this in his hands:
Yes, a bottle of carpet spot remover.  He had taken it downstairs a few nights before because Belle The Wonder Dog had thrown up on the carpet. So instead of bringing it up when he was finished he sat it on a shelf beside the TV.  I can tell you from experience that you never, NEVER leave anything lying around in arms reach or climbing reach of The Red's.  Jesse however had forgotten this small detail.
He had this disturbed look on his face and so I asked what was wrong.  He says to me through gritted teeth "YOUR boys sprayed this on MY TV".  Now wait just a minute solider boy....back up.....who's boys and who's TV?  Now who left the spot remover spray downstairs next to the TV?  Oh that's right, JESSE!  So how did it become my fault?  I just let him be, because I knew he was upset.  I asked how bad and if the TV still worked and he replied "I don't know".  So he headed downstairs to clean up the TV and make sure it isn't ruined. 
I in the mean time head to the Red's room to find out what happened.  As I popped my head in I can hear them carrying on a conversation between themselves.  Apparently they overheard Jesse and I talking.  So I interrupt and say "boys, did you guys spray the TV with that carpet spray?".  Andrew answers "yes, but we were trying to get the magic school bus to appear, and it didn't, so I guess that wasn't the magic school bus spray".  WHAT?????????  I didn't even try to engage that conversation because I was too lost!
By the way, the TV was fine.......and Jesse's face color returned to normal.....and the spot remover, well it got thrown in the garbage.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

100th Post....My Most Embarrassing Moment!

Alright you guys, since it is my 100th post and you all have stuck with me thus far....and I am entirely too hard on my husband (can't help he gives good material), I thought I would share my MOST embarrassing moment!  Trust me, my hands are sweating just typing this right now.  It's only because I love you all so much, and I think that you deserve a good laugh even if it is at my expense!
So without further ado: MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT!
I can't believe I'm doing this!

The date was June 13th, 2004 and I was in the hospital in labor with Andrew!  My water had broken the night before at a mere 30 weeks.  After a long night of an ambulance ride and emotions running high the doctors tell us that we would have a baby that day.  An epidural was given and this is where my story begins.
As a "first timer" you have no idea what to expect.  My biggest fear was pooping on the delivery table....and what I've gathered from most of my friends it was their fear also.  I was told that with an epidural I wouldn't know exactly where I was pushing and this freaked me out more than you could imagine.
After the epidural kicked in the nurses began coming in to do the random "checks" to see how I was progressing.  We had been up all night and worried sick because Andrew was going to be so pre-mature so Jesse and I were a bit loopy.  Usually, when the nurse comes in the family/friends vacate to ensure privacy....but who are we kidding....If you've given birth you know that privacy gets thrown out the window early and everybody in God's country gets to see you in all your glory.
My luck....I ended up with a nurse that knew my family, had gone to church with my family and even high school with my brother.  This was all well and good until it was time for the "check".  How uncomfortable you feel already having a complete stranger "check" you, but a friend.....way more uncomfortable than I liked!
Since she was a friend she would come in and chat with the family.  When it came time for my next "check" my family rose to leave and she says: "it's okay, you can stay".....I agreed to my mother, sister-in-law, a girl friend and Jesse to stay...but the boys had to go.  I don't think my brother or father would have stayed anyways, but I didn't give them the opportunity....we are close...but not that close!
As privately as she could, she lifted the sheet and started to "check".  The conversation around the room was still very much alive and my epidural was...well..working!  Again, let me state.....with an epidural you cannot feel anything.....nothing...nada!  You have no idea what's going on down there and when you have someone pushing on things you can't help your body out by doing things that you would normally clinch.
So she begins checking and pushing and out comes this "PPRRRTT" (that would be a pooting sound).  Not just a little quite poot...not at all...this would be a loud, interrupt the conversation of the room poot.  I was mortified, and to make matters worse Jesse is standing beside me half delirious himself and you know how tickled you get when you are overly tired.  So he begins calling me out on what had happened.  He says "Joy Richardson, did you just do that?" as he falls over himself snot laughing.  With him laughing so hard, my sister-in-law laughing, my mother laughing, my friend laughing....and yes the nurse/friend laughing, I start laughing.  The only problem is that I am still numb from my epidural so I still can't CLINCH!  So with every laugh there is a  "PRT", "PRT", "PRT", "PRT"...HAHAHHAHAHAA, "PRT", "PRT", "PRT", "PRT"...HA HA HA..."PRT", "PRT", "PRT". You get the picture.  And every time this happened the room roared with laughter.  Mortified does not explain how I felt....beet red does not describe the color of my face!!!!!!
So there you have it....My pooting labor story......I hope you relished in my embarrassment today!  There have been many other times (like everyday) that I make a fool of myself so I'm sure I'll have more you all later.  As for now, I'm done!!!!
Thanks again for continuing to read my stories!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Cub Scouts.....The New Adventure

Well It's official, Andrew is now a card carrying member of the Cub Scouts and he is fired up!  Only problem is he doesn't understand why they can't go camping at every meeting. 
Yesterday was the first official meeting with their uniforms.  Jesse informed me of this small detail the day of the meeting (ARG)!  So off I went to the Boy Scout store to pick up his uniform.  What Jesse also neglected to tell me is that there were 5 patches (FIVE) that had to be sewn onto this uniform.....guess who doesn't sew?
I know you all think I am a domestic goddess, and I try my best to live up to your expectations:

To my defense...this picture was taken after giving birth to Eli...I was still in the hospital and Jesse was extremely mean to pull the camera on me. I was so drugged up that I couldn't see straight. There you have it.....your domestic goddess! This was as small as I could possibly get this photo...I'm dying right now! The lengths I go to for you guys! Now forget you ever saw this : )

But some categories I fall short in....sewing is one of them.  I took home economics in high school and had to make a dress, but after that I retired my fingers from thimbles.
What I am good at though is out sourcing...ah tailor!
When we arrived at the store and we were givien the handful of things we needed we were also given the opportunity to buy the official boy scout pants.  Let me just tell you about these pants.....they are huge....made for mammoth children.....not my runts!  I bought the size he is currently in and headed home. 
I made a quick stopped by the tailor and begged...yes begged them to sew on these 5 (FIVE) patches for me.  They agreed because they are awesome, and I was on my way.  I picked the shirt up a few hours later and then proceeded to dress Andrew in his attire.  I put the pants on Andrew and made the quick decision to unzip them at the knees (they are the two part pants/shorts). The Pants were huge, like 3 sizes too big.  Only when I unzipped them to make them shorts it looked like he was wearing pants...HUH!
So I sent my cute little tiger cub to his first official uniform wearing meeting looking like a Gangsta' least his underwear wasn't showing (maybe because I had his belt so tight he couldn't sit down). 
Check out those shorts, and yes that is Rudolf in the background!

I wonder if they provide a class for sewing on patches for rookie moms.....

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


I think I've said too many times what a hunter my husband is.  To be a good hunter you have to have good camo.  You must blend into your surroundings, you must look and smell like Mother Earth:

You must paint your face:

You must practice painting your face with your wives purifying facial mud mask:
You cannot hunt ducks without cleansing first ; )
He had to know this was going to make it to the blog.......I don't know what was funnier:  watching him put it on, or watching him try not to laugh because it dried so tight on his face!  Just thought you guys would enjoy!  Even with his tough guy face he still looks comical!  LOVE YOU JESSE!

Duck Commander eat your heart out!

Monday, September 13, 2010


I want to tell this story, but I want to say first that this was just a JOKE! The Red's were not serious, they were just being funny little boys. Please do not look down upon us as bad parents (or bad mother for sharing).

Here lately The Red's have been all about punching.  I'm not talking about for real mad punching, I'm talking about the playful wrestling punches.  They run around punching their Dad, punching Grandman, and of course punching each other.......again let me say, "all in a playful manor".  I have no idea what sparked this interest, but they think it's the funniest thing ever.
The other night we were getting the boys into bed and getting ready to say our prayers.  As always Jesse opens the floor to the Red's and offers them a chance to say what they want to pray for.  Sometimes we get some really crazy answers from these silly guys and this time had to be the strangest answer yet.  Here's how the conversation went down:
Jesse: "boys, what would you like to pray for tonight?"
Andrew: "I want to pray that I can punch Jesus"  (please keep in mind he is 6 and being SILLY)
Jesse got a shocked look on his face but before he could answer Eli chimed in.
Eli: "I want to pray to punch Jesus too"
They both giggled and squirmed around thinking how silly they were
Jesse:  "Andrew, that has to be the meanest thing I've ever heard you say"
The reality of what they said kicked in and Andrew starts doing back strokes
Andrew: "UM, I think that I want to pray that Jesus forgets that I ever said that"
Eli:  "Yea, me too"
Good choice boys!!!!  But just for extra measure we read them the story of Sodom and Gomorrah......  ; )  I'm kidding! 

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Just wanted to send out a quick "Thank You" to all of you guys that take time out of your life to read my blog.  I have had so many of you send me messages of how much you enjoy reading about The Red's and Sissy Lou.  It is quite humbling to read your comments and messages on stuff that I write.  I'll try to keep things interesting and encourage my kiddos to keep it real so I can have more things to write about (hopefully not anymore dumping stories).  If things get too boring around here I can always skip to Jesse stories or worst of all my embarrassing stories (but that's only when I'm desperate).  : )  Thank you all for your encouraging words and cheering me on!  I love every one of you and I am so thankful that you stopped by the Sarge's post!
So stayed tuned for more installments of The Sarge of 4..........

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Fence Dilemma

Most of you know by now that my husband is an avid hunter.  He hunts anything that is in season, but his main love is duck hunting.  For that reason he bought a Labrador last year for retrieving ducks/geese and doves.  We named her Belle the Wonder Dog and she loves...LOVES to retrieve!
This past year Jesse spent countless hours training Belle and she has done quite well with her training.  This is her first hunting season to try out her skills so we were all nail biting the first hunt.  You never know how a dog will do with live birds and not just decoys or bumpers.
  Last weekend was opening season for Dove and Jesse thought this was perfect for Belle's first hunt.  The first day she did alright, but still quite hadn't figured out that whole live hunt thing.  The second day she lived up to her name....Wonder Dog...Jesse was so proud and was beaming when he came home.  He said everyone was just bragging on how awesome Belle was.  The only problem she had that day was with.....a fence.  Yep, a fence, the kind that have the wooden slats:
 When a bird would fall on the opposite side of the fence Belle would burn over there just to hit the brakes when she came to this fence.  She couldn't for the life of her figure out how to get over the fence.  Jesse being the "dog whisperer" decided that the best way for Belle to learn is to show her.  So Jesse (big body) walks over to the fence and proceeds to get down on his belly and slide himself under the fence.  He said there was plenty of room from the bottom slat to the ground.  He slid as far under to his waist and when Belle saw what he was doing she shimmied right under next to him and retrieved the bird from the other side.  She then went right back under the fence with the bird and sat down next to Jesse who was still under the fence half way. 
You know, some people have problems with calculations.  Like calculating the width under a fence, or calculating your body mass to said fence.  As he tried to slide backwards he realized something.....he was STUCK...oh yea, he couldn't move forward and he couldn't move backward...STUCK REAL GOOD!  His buddies were no help because they were on the ground snot laughing (as I would have been at this sight).  Jesse got tickled himself and was laughing so hard he couldn't move.  So there he was lying face down under the fence with his buddies standing around saying "Fat boy stuck in the fence"........I don't care who you are...that's funny people!  Finally after gaining his composure, and with some help, he managed to unwedge himself and slide out.  I wish, I wish, I wish I was there with the video camera that day.  Why is it that I always miss the good moments?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Last Men Standing!

I think that someone has put a voodoo curse on my household!  We have never had so much trouble with sickness around here.  It's usually everyone else around us that gets sick and somehow we get bypassed.  Not this year though, we have been the target since school started.  A fever virus hit us first, now we are on to a stomach virus....and all I can say is yuck!  It all started Friday night:

My Mom and Dad had flown in from Birmingham to spend Labor Day weekend with us.  We picked them up from the airport on Friday evening and headed to Red Robin to eat.  Andrew had this horrible cough for a few days that was from his allergies draining.  When I had picked him up from school earlier he was coughing so hard he had gotten a nose bleed.  By the time we picked up my mom and dad he had already had 3 nose bleeds.  Right in the middle of dinner he gets into another coughing fit and his nose starts bleeding again......then he threw up....right in the middle of Red Robin and right in the middle of our dinner!  So out the door we went! This really wasn't the stomach virus that attacked Andrew, but it was just the beginning of a fun filled weekend.
Saturday Payton started having some pretty nasty runny diapers that smelled sour.  Even when she burped her breath smelled sour.  I thought it might just be her teething, so we didn't pay much attention to it.  She had so many runny diapers that it blistered her rear end and her skin would just bleed every time you wiped.  I called the doctor and they suggested I let her run "free"...yea right...diarrhea+ a 14 month old with no diaper....not happening!  I had to put her in a baking soda bath 3 times a day and let her run as "free" as possible, plus lots and lots of special cream they called in for her.  After getting up twice that night with her to change her diaper, clothes and bedding I was quite tired. 
Sunday was better and the diarrhea slowed a bit.  We headed off to Water Front Park to take in a few sights.  This is my dad's favorite place to go when he visits...he just loves it.  We stopped for a milk shake and headed on down.
On the way back home I noticed my mom in the back seat with her head tilted backward and she wasn't looking so hot.  When she walked through the door of the house she started vomiting like crazy.  At first she thought it might have been the milkshake until it hit the other end too (sorry mom)!  That whole night she was up sick from both ends. We then began to think that Payton did have a virus and had now given it to my mom.
Lysol was our weapon of choice and Jesse sprayed the whole house...which made the virus angry and it attacked with more vigor!
Monday was a little better until supper time when it began to hit my dad.  Although he swears he wasn't sick, we all like to agree other wise.  He had chills and was dizzy which was part of what my mom had.  Maybe he didn't get the full blown virus...who knows....but he got a  little taste of it.
Yesterday was Tuesday and it was Eli's 5th birthday.  Everyone was feeling better and mom and dad left to go back home.  Around 2:00 Jesse called and said he wasn't feeling that great.  Jesse is the world's worst hypochondriac....the WORST!  So I blew him off.....anytime anyone ever gets sick he immediately thinks he has it.  I have tested and proven this theory.  There was a time when I said that I wasn't feeling good and that I was sick to my stomach.  Not ten minutes after I said this he said the same thing.....problem was, I was faking!  Anyways, he came home from work because the "diarrhea" had hit him.  This time was for real....he was up all night fighting the firece virus!
This morning he was still sick so I took the boys to school and on the way Andrew announced that his belly hurt.  I told him he was fine and that he was going to have a great day at school.  Eli chimed in and said that he felt sick and was going to throw up.....I told him he was fine and was going to have a great day at school.  Andrew then said "mom, when I burp it smells like bad gas".  I probably should have listened  and kept him home, but he has missed so many days of school already because of this plague we have around here!
So I dropped them off and headed to the doctor myself because for some unknown strange reason I have POISON IVY all up my legs AGAIN.....and I haven't been outside at all!  I figured I got it from the dogs or from Jesse's hunting clothes...who knows.  Anyways, I went to get a steroid shot to dry it up quickly.  On my way back home I got a call from Jesse saying that the school had just called and Andrew had pooped his pants.......YEAH, I"M THE WORLD'S GREATEST MOM!!!!!!!!!!  I felt horrible and went and picked him up! 
Now it's down to me and Eli...we are the last men staning and I refuse, REFUSE to get sick!  Besides, God wouldn't give me poison ivy  and a stomach virus at the same time.....would he? 
So whoever you are with the voodoo curse over my house, please's not funny anymore.  We are going to be quarantined...or be a case study...or BOTH!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Happy 5th Birthday Eli!

Five years ago today we welcomed Elijah Lon Richardson into this world at a whopping 5 lbs 3oz and things have never been the same since! 
My pregnancy with Eli was the hardest pregnancy out of the three kids.  Early on I started having bleeding and contractions.  When I went to get this checked out we learned that Eli was in fact a twin!  The twin did not survive and we lost the baby early on, but Eli thrived!  Can you imagine two of Eli running's a thought!
At that same time they also noticed that I had a Septate Uterus which means that my uterus has a septum in it that makes it two uterus.  (My goal in this blog is to see how many times I can type uterus).  This means that my babies only have half the room to grow and explained why Andrew was born so early.  Also explained my miscarriage of Eli's twin.  Anyways, enough of the uterus onto Eli's life!
So because of this complication it caused me to contract all the time and eventually at 20 weeks I was put on permanent bed rest because things had started to change down there : )
A pump was placed in my leg that pumped continuous drugs into me to prevent me from contracting.  Add to that a weekly shot in my rump and monitoring twice a day with Andrew running around and you have a picture of what my pregnancy looked like.
At 37 weeks to the day I was allowed to remove the pump and at 2:00 that morning I went into labor.  Jesse told me to go back to bed that it was all in my head, so I went to the couch and timed my contractions.  At 5:00 I went and woke him up and told him I was really in labor and off to the hospital we went.  When we arrived I found out that not only was I in labor, but I was already 6 cm dilated...yikes!  No wonder I was hurting...stupid Jesse ; )
After a long hard pregnancy on bed rest we were greeted with Eli after 1 1/2 pushes!  That's why I like having little babies ; )  He has added so much to our lives and makes us laugh daily!  We love you Eli...HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY!!!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

What would you do for an iphone?

What would you do for an iphone?  I cannot live without mine.  I feel lost without it near and when it gets misplaced I feel like I've lost my wallet.  The Reds have taken an interest here lately in Jesse and my iphones.  They love to play games on them and will sneak in and grab them off the charger.  When Jesse's at work I have to monitor fights between them on who is going to play my phone first. 
Yesterday I had, had it!  They were fighting non stop about my phone....MY PHONE!!!  I tried so hard to explain that it was MY phone and that I needed it, but they didn't care....they wanted to play plants vs. zombies or angry birds.   So I put a stop to it.  I told them that Mommy's phone was off limits from now on!  Yep, I was taking back control of MY I could play angry birds : ) 
After this announcement there was lots...I mean lots of whining, grumbling,  & complaining, but I stuck to my guns.  I told them to go outside and play like normal children.

Today it started up again.  Once I picked them up from school the begging began to play my phone.  I once again stuck to my, not going to give my phone up!  When we got home they settled down and it seemed that my phone had been forgotten.....until supper time. 

I was in the middle of cooking supper and Andrew came in once again begging for my phone.  I can't say what it was, but idea crossed my brain.  It's like a moment when everything comes together perfectly...a smell, an idea, and a certain end to the phone whining.

As Andrew was asking for my phone, Payton ran by and I caught a whiff of something foul.  Oh yea, she had messed her britches something fierce.  So I said, "Andrew if you will change Sissy's poopy diaper, then you can play my phone".  In all honesty I thought for sure he would say no way and then move off the subject of the iphone, but instead he looks at me and says: "you're joking".  So I pushed forward...."no, I'm not joking".  With this he flips Sissy over and tries to jerk off her pants.  I stop him and carried her to the living room where the wipes are...because from the smell of things, he was going to need a lot of wipes!
I grab the camera, because I am in disbelief that this is actually happening.  How could he want to play games so bad that he would brave the foulest smell and poopy ever.  I'm telling you it was making me gag smelling it just in the room.  As he undid the diaper I see that it is one of those "blow out" diapers.  Oh yea.....up the back.  Immediately he starts gagging and pulls his shirt over his nose.  He then pinches his nose with one hand and starts cleaning Sissy off with the other hand.  I am laughing so hard at this point that I can't keep the camera straight.  These images are just snap shots from the video camera, so they are a little blurry.
He definitely earned the right to my iphone!
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