100th Post....My Most Embarrassing Moment!

Alright you guys, since it is my 100th post and you all have stuck with me thus far....and I am entirely too hard on my husband (can't help he gives good material), I thought I would share my MOST embarrassing moment!  Trust me, my hands are sweating just typing this right now.  It's only because I love you all so much, and I think that you deserve a good laugh even if it is at my expense!
So without further ado: MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT!
I can't believe I'm doing this!

The date was June 13th, 2004 and I was in the hospital in labor with Andrew!  My water had broken the night before at a mere 30 weeks.  After a long night of an ambulance ride and emotions running high the doctors tell us that we would have a baby that day.  An epidural was given and this is where my story begins.
As a "first timer" you have no idea what to expect.  My biggest fear was pooping on the delivery table....and what I've gathered from most of my friends it was their fear also.  I was told that with an epidural I wouldn't know exactly where I was pushing and this freaked me out more than you could imagine.

After the epidural kicked in the nurses began coming in to do the random "checks" to see how I was progressing.  We had been up all night and worried sick because Andrew was going to be so pre-mature so Jesse and I were a bit loopy.  Usually, when the nurse comes in the family/friends vacate to ensure privacy....but who are we kidding....If you've given birth you know that privacy gets thrown out the window early and everybody in God's country gets to see you in all your glory.

My luck....I ended up with a nurse that knew my family, had gone to church with my family and even high school with my brother.  This was all well and good until it was time for the "check".  How uncomfortable you feel already having a complete stranger "check" you, but a friend.....way more uncomfortable than I liked!

Since she was a friend she would come in and chat with the family.  When it came time for my next "check" my family rose to leave and she says: "it's okay, you can stay".....I agreed to my mother, sister-in-law, a girl friend and Jesse to stay...but the boys had to go.  I don't think my brother or father would have stayed anyways, but I didn't give them the opportunity....we are close...but not that close!
As privately as she could, she lifted the sheet and started to "check".  The conversation around the room was still very much alive and my epidural was...well..working!  Again, let me state.....with an epidural you cannot feel anything.....nothing...nada!  You have no idea what's going on down there and when you have someone pushing on things you can't help your body out by doing things that you would normally do....like clinch.
So she begins checking and pushing and out comes this "PPRRRTT" (that would be a pooting sound).  Not just a little quite poot...not at all...this would be a loud, interrupt the conversation of the room poot.  I was mortified, and to make matters worse Jesse is standing beside me half delirious himself and you know how tickled you get when you are overly tired.  So he begins calling me out on what had happened.  He says "Joy Richardson, did you just do that?" as he falls over himself snot laughing.  With him laughing so hard, my sister-in-law laughing, my mother laughing, my friend laughing....and yes the nurse/friend laughing, I start laughing.  The only problem is that I am still numb from my epidural so I still can't CLINCH!  So with every laugh there is a  "PRT", "PRT", "PRT", "PRT"...HAHAHHAHAHAA, "PRT", "PRT", "PRT", "PRT"...HA HA HA..."PRT", "PRT", "PRT". You get the picture.  And every time this happened the room roared with laughter.  Mortified does not explain how I felt....beet red does not describe the color of my face!!!!!!

So there you have it....My pooting labor story......I hope you relished in my embarrassment today!  There have been many other times (like everyday) that I make a fool of myself so I'm sure I'll have more you all later.  As for now, I'm done!!!!
Thanks again for continuing to read my stories!